Little to no time has passed since Orlando witnessed the largest mass shooting in United States history, and already the nation is mourning again. Two black men who did nothing dangerous except for "appear to reach for their guns" — evidence would surface later suggesting they were not — were shot multiple times and killed by police officers. Alton Sterling and Philando Castile were killed within 24 hours of each other, July 5th and 6th respectively, and Castile with a four-year-old girl in the backseat of his car. Castile's girlfriend filmed the intense moments after the shooting, her boyfriend in the car bleeding out next to her as the police officer responsible figured out what to do. Alton Sterling was shot six times, bystanders filming the incident, in a situation that posed little threat to the officers involved. Even if the situation posed a serious threat, six shots are far too many for anyone to call "self-defense." Say what you will about the details, Castile was the 136th black person killed by police in 2016 thus far. These incidents are wrong. They not the victims' fault; they are part of an epidemic. When a police officer shot and killed Trayvon Martin on the street in 2012, it sparked a movement, a movement that resurged in 2014 when a white officer shot and killed Michael Brown in Ferguson, Mo. Since then, the Black Lives Matter movement has been active, but also controversial depending on who you ask.

As usual in this case (sickened as I am to say we as a nation have a "usual" for the events following a wrongful police shooting because it happens so often), riots broke out in protest of Sterling and Castile's unjust killings. Adding fuel to this already enormous fire, one black man at a Dallas riot was so angered that he took to murder, shooting and killing five Dallas police officers. Just as my heart is broken for the black men killed by police, my heart bleeds for the five innocent officers killed for crimes they didn't commit. I wish I could take any of the grievous burden from the families of Alton Sterling, Philando Castile, Lorne Ahrens, Michael Smith, Patrick Zamarripa, Michael Krol and Brent Thompson. These men had lives, dreams, plans for the weekend. Some had children. They were people and I shudder to think of all these men have lost to cruel, brutal actions.

When I woke up July 7, the morning following Castile’s death and read in the news about the Dallas officers, my stomach dropped, and I was filled again with grief for the five white men that I never met, just as I had felt for the two black men killed in the days preceding. After processing it all, through my mind ran an unsettling thought, "The deaths of these five officers will divide us."

While the country is still grieving, while a large community is still trying to make it clear that black lives matter, so many people will try to say that black people are to blame for their anger because one black man killed five police officers. One incident does not cancel out the other: five innocent officers being murdered does not cancel out the systemic racism that causes deaths like Alton Sterling’s and Philando Castile’s. Both problems exist: systemic racism causes deadly police brutality, and evil people like the Dallas shooter — people in general, not the vast majority of black protesters, who are entirely justified in their anger — sometimes commit murder. These two horrible issues can exist alongside each other. One black man committing horrible acts does not mean that black people and their allies have to stop saying, “Black Lives Matter.” Sterling and Castile’s deaths, and the deaths of the 134 before them that have occurred this year alone, prove the movement is still necessary. And no, believing black lives matter does not give black men the right to kill anybody, especially not officers that weren’t involved whatsoever in those incidents of police brutality. It’s all touchy, it’s all so complicated and I wish that, for a few minutes, everyone understood it doesn’t have to be.

This is difficult to talk about, and far more difficult than I can imagine for the families of the seven people that died this week. The passing of all these men has not been grieved; it’s been politically analyzed and studied. I am not black, so I try to use that privilege to be an ally. I side with the Black Lives Matter movement because police brutality against black people has become epidemic and is absolutely unjust. I also side with the idea that no one should plan a calculated attack and kill innocent people, no matter what sparked their anger. First, let’s worry about the lives lost. Give the families — and America — time to grieve and sort it all out before we start attacking each other again.