Learn to be alone and not be lonely. Learn to love yourself more than anyone could ever possibly love you so that one day, when someone does come into your life and offer you more love than you think you deserve, you’ll know by then that you do deserve it. You will have experienced this mass amount of love before, from yourself, so you will no longer settle. I know it sounds cheesy, but conforming to the culture of needing a significant other won’t benefit you until you know what you deserve.
It’s okay to be alone. Being alone means you are independent, that you can be a “people person”, but you more importantly are a “you person.” We have all built up such a harsh connotation for the word “alone.” We fear unacceptance so we try so hard to achieve it. We live in communities, connecting with others every single day, forming relationships and getting comfortable with one another. But how can you become comfortable with someone else if you are not first comfortable with yourself?
If you live your whole life for others, hoping for their approval and vying for their affection, you are going to have a very unhappy life. It is okay to be alone, to not have a boyfriend or girlfriend or a best friend who goes every single place with you. It’s important to be able to feel fulfilled with just yourself, not needing the affirmation of another. It’s built into our culture that it’s cool and important to have a significant other but what’s missing is the reminder that it’s truly okay and sometimes necessary to not have one. Personally, I’m an extrovert and I like to consider myself a “people’s person.” I enjoy being with others and making other people happy, but I never saw how much time this took away from making myself happy and getting to know myself as much as I do others. Don’t get me wrong, I love to be responsible for making other people happy, but it’s important that I not let my efforts diminish my own happiness.
So, I hope you feel special. I hope you realize that you are unique. I hope you know how lucky people would be to simply know you. But most of all, I hope you love yourself.