I sat in the evaluating room at University Health Services, there to be seen about chronic, debilitating headaches that I'd suffered for years. It was a regular check-up, one I had no apprehensions about making, hoping to get to the root of an issue that was growing to interfere with my everyday life. The doctor asked about my day-to-day, my menstrual cycle, if I work, if I exercise, how my diet was, all typical questions for routine health examinations. I thought maybe it was gluten in my diet. Possibly my hypoglycemia? I don't know, I look at screens a lot for work and school, I bet that's it. My eyesight is really bad. She brought up the routine mental health evaluations we do at check-in, and it was then that she said the words, "Do you think you have depression?" My heart dropped. It was something my boyfriend had pushed me to see someone about for a while, but I always argued, nothing is wrong with me! "I'm not a specialist in the field, so I won't diagnose you," she said, "but I want you to see the behavioral health unit upstairs. I think you have depression or anxiety, maybe both, and that's what's causing this." She wrote me a prescription for the headaches and asked me to make an appointment with a psychiatrist, but I told myself that as long as the headaches eased up, she had to be wrong.

I go to the doctor months later, this time for bronchitis. Same routine, same questions, but my doctor and her resident stepped out to talk. I scored dangerously high on the emotional health screening, in the ranks of someone who suffers from suicidal thoughts and tendencies. I didn't want to believe it. I kept telling myself that I'm fine, I'm just busy and get behind sometimes and it can make me sad.

Nothing is wrong with me! I don't want help, I don't need help, I'm not going to get help!

Long story short, after much convincing from my boyfriend, I eventually met with a psychiatrist. The truth is, I pride myself on my independence above nearly all else. From the ripe age of 7 or 8, I've always been that way; and since I was 16, I tried to handle my academics, finances, and mental and physical health and well-being all on my own. I was immediately diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder, General Anxiety Disorder, and Social Anxiety Disorder, and was given medications and resources to help me cope with it all. I was working three part-time jobs, maintaining a full-time class schedule, and told myself that if I wasn't so busy I felt like I was going to implode, then I wasn't doing enough.

I didn't want to give anyone reason to think I was incapable or weak. I didn't want to give those around me any reason to find me inferior, especially over something that already has such a negative stigma around it.

I'm sure many of us have grown up with adults and elders in our lives, social media and television, and (as sad as it is to say) oftentimes, bullying, convincing us that psychiatrist and counseling appointments are for "nutcases" or "lunatics," and that we have "nothing to be sad or anxious about." Being told you've "got it easy" and are "just downright ungrateful" can put a serious damper on any attempt to reach out to someone and simply say, "I think my mental health and well-being is just not where it needs to be. Do you think there's someone who can point me in the right direction?"

Admit it, you want to be your best self--everyone does--and there's no shame in that.

Give yourself the chance to be! I know that it can seem scary, and you probably wonder how you'd even begin to go about getting help. After all, you don't want to seem weak. You don't want your friends to think you can't be there for them just because you're going through it right now. You don't want your family to assume the worst. You don't want anyone from work to find out.

Speaking from personal experience, it takes a lot more courage to be honest with yourself and those in your life than it does to just sit back and let things happen. For me personally, seeking help was always something I had apprehensions about, so I eventually told myself that I would have to change the way I think about it to fit into my priorities just as school and work did. Here's how:

People like academic advisers, teachers or instructors of any kind, and counselors are no different in the aspect that all of them are there to guide you. Talk to a counselor or psychiatrist with the same confidence that you would your adviser at school. You go to your adviser because you know you want to optimize your academic experience, and he or she gives you guidelines on what to pursue, what to expect, and how to prepare for the next step. They guide you and always keep your best interest in mind, and a mental health professional will do no different. You've spent enough time trying to keep yourself busy and take care of your academic or occupational future. It's about time you think more of yourself. Whenever something isn't at its best, you always get it evaluated by a professional--your car, your stock portfolio, your class schedule, your physical health--so why not do so for your own well-being?

After reevaluating my priorities and thinking about how all I wanted to be was my best self, I realized that improving my mental health was involved in that process. It took a long time, but I had to learn that asking for help to reach that point was no different than asking a general physician about my headaches or bronchitis. I sought help when I needed it then because I wanted to be able to live my life as I wanted, healthy and in control. I didn't want to feel like there was anything preventing me from doing everything I wanted to do. And just like the sicknesses I'd dealt with in the past, this was just another thing I'd have to ask questions about and work through.

Asking for help does not mean you're weak or incapable or inferior, but, in fact, just the opposite. When you decide that you want to put in the work to be the best you possible, you're overcoming so much more than most people on the daily. Many people go about their lives, just taking things as they come, whether it's going to class or work, putting their time in, and doing just what they have to to get through it. But you, when you make the step to address the issue head-on and tackle whatever it may be that's burdening you, you're already making a step in the right direction. That alone shows a drive to be successful and happy that most people don't have. When you reach out, whether it's to a friend, family member, or healthcare professional, you show initiative, making the steps to enhance your life and live it in complete happiness. Little by little, you'll begin to see everything through a different lens and will start treating your mental wellness as it should be: just as important as that education, career, opportunity, relationship--you name it.

So no, asking for help does not mean you're weak. Asking for help means you won't settle for anything less than the best version of yourself, and in my eyes, and the eyes of anyone who cares about you,

You're as strong as they come.