The Day: October 19, 2017

The Event: A Yellowjacket Attack

I woke up this fine morning at nine o’clock and went about my morning routine. Wash face, brush teeth, let the dogs out, and brew a glorious cup of coffee.

Today was going to be such a great day. I could feel it in my bones. I was going to meet up with my grandmother, cousin, and adorable little nephew so we could go to the animal park. AKA my paradise.

While continuing my wake-up ritual I headed back to my room to drink my coffee, consume my kind bar, and watch part of an episode of Gilmore Girls before getting ready to leave. Once my magical brew was gone I got dressed in black Capri leggings, a white cami under a flannel, and my hot pink Nikes.

The time has come for me to make the 45-minute trek to my grandparents’ house. I lock my dogs up in their kennel, hop in my car, and drive out of site.

As I said, it was a beautiful day. I was driving with the windows down and country music playing on the radio. Eventually, I took a turn onto this cute little back road through the mountain by the cute white church on the corner (I don’t know road names, only landmarks). Once this little road came to an end, I took a right turn on another back road. I had almost made it back to civilization when out of nowhere I felt a burning sensation on my lower back.

Something has stung me.

I’m 15 minutes out from my grandparents’ house and the burning/tingling feeling is spreading across and up my back rapidly. It hits me. I have somehow been stung by a yellowjacket for no apparent reason as I was just driving along minding my own business while singing along to Sam Hunt’s “Body Like A Backroad.”

What did I do to deserve this?

Was my singing really that terrible? Well, it definitely could have been, but still, I was minding my own business.

As I’m allergic to these little devils and did absolutely nothing to piss him off, besides he crawled into my clothes not the other way around, I am convinced he flew out of the deepest depths of hell just to irritate me and give me a welt that would last a week.