No one likes to hear yelling. It's loud and interrupts your train of thought, making it hard to process what's being said. Not to mention, if someone is yelling at you, your initial reaction will either be to get upset or mad.
A yell is like fire. Once one person throws it, everything goes up in flames. If the other person throws back, it's like fighting fire with fire. The only way to stop the yelling is for everything to cool down.
There used to be times I'd yell at my little brothers because I would get so easily frustrated with them. The second after the yell escaped my throat, I would always feel flushed and humiliated because ultimately I didn't want to yell or make them upset, I just wanted them to hear what I was saying.
Yelling isn't the way to get people to hear you. They might physically hear your yell because it's loud, but chances are, they aren't really hearing what you're trying to tell them.
As someone who used to see yelling as an easy way to convey that I was mad, I want you all to know that there are ways to let people try to understand you without starting a fight.
I have my incredible boyfriend to thank for helping me realize that. He hates yelling. He told me that early on in our relationship and since then I have felt myself noticing when I yell and working out a way to approach the situation differently. Even with my brothers. I hardly ever yell anymore.
I remember one time when we first started dating I made him promise me that we'd never go to bed angry with each other after a fight because I'd had that happen before, and it's horrible. I'll never forget he told me "We're never going to fight." I won't lie, I thought he was a little crazy and too optimistic in that moment, but it was after he explained that I understood. He said we'd never fight because we would only ever have conversations. We would talk about things that bother us and work through it together, and fights don't come from that. It's been over a year now and we haven't yelled at each other once, except for maybe when we get into play arguments and all of a sudden he screams "I LOVE YOU SO MUCH" at the top of his lungs.
He showed me that I shouldn't expect for someone to yell at me one day when they get frustrated with me. We're human, we're always going to get frustrated with the people around us even if we love them more than anything in the world, but if we do love them, we should try to remember that it's the two of us against the problem at hand, not us against each other.
We should all strive to be more like that - remember who you want to yell at. Chances are you don't want to hurt them, you just want them to understand you. So make them understand you calmly with words. There is an alternative to yelling, and I promise you it's so much more rewarding.