I never know how to tell people what year in college I am because I’m graduating early. I’m technically a junior, but at the same time, I’m technically a senior. Regardless, this time next year, I’ll be a college graduate.
I can hardly even think about graduating college without completely psyching myself out. In middle school, talk of college was way out of my reach. In high school, it still felt weird. Once I finally got there, it felt right but extremely adulty. But now that I’m one year away from the end of it, things are starting to feel even more uncomfortably adulty than ever before.
I’m 20 years old and much like other 20-year-olds right now, we thought we’d have our lives together but alas, we do not.
Back to when I was in middle school, my friend and I would talk about when we wanted to get married, have kids, and own our 30 dogs. I remember thinking by age 21 or 22 I’d be married, and then by age 23 have a kid and then that’s my life.
Looking back, I don’t think 12-year-old me understand actual life at all. I’m not close to marriage, most definitely not anywhere remotely close to children (don’t worry, mom), and the saddest of all, not close to owning those 30 dogs.
So, I guess if I’ve progressed any in life, it’s knowing my personal goals and understanding where I’m at in life, where I should be, and where I want to be.
To hopefully get a job out of college, I know I need to get an internship next summer. To do that, I need to start applying to those internships now.
I need to get my life together. By that, I mean growing up even more. Yes, I’ve matured since high school and have evolved each year since (at least I’d like to think so), but I need an even adultier frame of mind.
I’m graduating, I’m getting internships and jobs in the real world, I’m paying bills, I’m starting a life for myself, and I want to start out on the right foot.
It’s a new year. In this year, so many new things will come for me and for everyone else. I’m terrified, but I’m exhilarated.
People always ironically say, “New year, new me.” But maybe that’s actually something to strive for. Don’t you want to become a better you? Don’t you want to make an effort towards getting your life together?
Start by being terrified and exhilarated with me. Adulthood isn’t gonna wait for you.