Why Dating The Wrong Person Was Actually The RIGHT Choice In The End

Why Dating The Wrong Person Was Actually The RIGHT Choice In The End

Believe me when I say this... If I didn't learn what needed to change, I wouldn't have been able to change it in myself first.

Emmie Pombo

There have only been a couple of exes I've been completely heartbroken over.

That's not to say that the other failed relationships I was in didn't hurt after they ended, but there are certain people you click with better than others, even if you did officially date all of them. My last relationship was not one I was heartbroken over because I was trapped in abuse. In fact, the only feeling I felt after I broke it off was relief. However, that was the relationship that taught me the most, because that person was the one who was the most wrong for me out of all of them.

Here's the truth: If I didn't go through that horrible relationship, I would have never really found myself.

Now, I won't give that person enough power to look at them and be thankful for all I went through when I was with them just for the sake of character development. If I could have grown as a person any other way, believe me, I would have chosen it. But sometimes you have to deal with the cards you've been dealt and turn an absolutely horrible situation into something positive — or try as best you can.

If it wasn't for the abuse and mistreatment, I would have never learned what I'm actually worth.

Being treated like a burden, facing verbal, emotional, and mental abuse, and being told you're the reason for their dangerous mental health problems will definitely take a toll on you, whether you see it during the relationship or not. But, I guarantee you will come face-to-face with the reality of it after the relationship ends. It's inevitable. When normalcies are taken away from you, you notice the absence that takes their place. I learned that no matter who I'm with, I deserve to be treated as a priority and nothing less. The minute you feel like you come second to something, head for the hills because you deserve better.

If it wasn't for my last relationship, I would have never known how strong I really am.

Those coming out of abusive relationships have heard these questions before:

Why didn't you leave sooner?

Was it really that bad?

Did you deserve it?

Listen. Abusive relationships are terrifying for so many reasons, but one of the main ones is that you're trapped with someone you're scared of. Try making life-altering decisions that will negatively impact someone you're terrified of. You're not weak for staying in an abusive relationship, you're frightened for your wellbeing. But, for those who make it out alive, we can call ourselves some of the strongest people because we stood up for ourselves despite the fear, and I know that anyone who is out of an abusive relationship is rooting for the person who is trying to get out of one.

Dwelling in the past does not allow you to see the positives of the future.

My last relationship showed me anger, fear, frustration, and panic, but it also showed me strength, dignity, power, and self-love. In the end, I can say that dating the wrong person was actually the right choice because of the things I learned about myself. Was it worth it? It's a question I ask myself every day. But, there's only looking forward if you're looking to thrive.

Follow Swoon on Instagram.

Report this Content

Founders Of Color Q&A: Yarlap's MaryEllen Reider On Destigmatizing Women's Health

The father-daughter duo co-founded the brand and has since generated a passionate, dedicated community of women.

MaryEllen Reider

I was lucky enough to meet MaryEllen Reider over a decade ago as a fellow freshman in college. Since then, I had the luxury of being able to witness her evolution from the faithful companion I went to my first job fair with to the woman who is now a pioneer in destigmatizing the portrayal of women's reproductive health.

Keep Reading... Show less

My favorite Editor was feeling under the weather yesterday. All I wanted was to make her a vegan iced matcha latte. With distance forbidding it, I instead decided to write up this quick, easy recipe. I made it to be vegan and organic for optimal health benefits.

Matcha green tea is made from grounded green tea leaf and it comes with the most antioxidant boost ever.

Keep Reading... Show less

This coffee brand is USDA organic. Newman's Own Keurig coffee flavors are all organic. They have French Roast, Decaf, and a Special Blend. I'm in a committed relationship with the French Roast flavor. The smell alone from dispensing 1 cup of coffee sets a whole cafe jazz vibe.

I'm already relaxed when I smell the coffee all ready for dressing. The way I make my coffee is simple and sweet, literally. I add a spoon of organic brown sugar and a splash of organic almond vanilla milk. This cup of coffee has changed my life forever. I have never been so productive in my life and I truly believe it's because the coffee is organic.

Keep Reading... Show less

These organic, cruelty-free skincare products are great for hot, sweaty summers. I use them every day, so you will find my honest opinion about them all. I highly recommend using organic products because they are least likely to be harmful to your body.

This may seem like an extra step when it comes to your beauty routine, but it's really easy. These 5 products could be the start of your next beauty venture.

Keep Reading... Show less

These 5 Black Handbag Designers Should Be On Every Accessory Lover's Radar

With the push to support more Black-owned businesses, we've put together a list of Black owned handbag designers.

Ever since the current upheaval of societal silence happening in the country caused by the #BlackLivesMatter movement, there has been a bigger push for people to support Black-owned businesses.

Granted, there are a lot fo Black-owned businesses to support, it just takes time to find them. With that being said, fashion is a sector, just like any sector really, in a culture that still has people of color calling out for more diversity.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

Feel A Lil' Better: Because Therapy Dogs Aren't Just Cute, They're Working

Your weekly wellness boost from Odyssey.

No matter how good (or bad) you'd describe your health, one thing is for sure: a little boost is ALWAYS a good idea. Whether that's reading a new, motivating book, or listening to a song that speaks to your soul, there are plenty of resources to help your health thrive on any given day.

There are many different ways people overcome obstacles in their lives. Thankfully, the stigma surrounding therapy is slowly (but surely) slipping away and we're opening up about our problems and needs. For some, a good workout is just as relaxing. Others are learning how meditation can be a helpful tool in their mental health journey.

Keep Reading... Show less
Facebook Comments