If you are a human being who partakes in pop culture even to the most minimalistic extent possible, you will have heard of the classic movie monster, “Frankenstein.” And you will immediately picture a few things. You’ll think of an old, bald, mad scientist with hair sticking out of his nose. He probably has some evil sounding German name reminiscent of that one German swear word your foreign language teacher taught you in high school. But you don’t remember his name, and even if you did, you probably couldn’t pronounce it. He’s also got some creepy castle and a crazy lab with a convenient skylight. And then, you’ll think of a monster with a patchwork face who makes inarticulate gurgles and grunts as he awkwardly swings his stiff limbs every which way. He’s got screws sticking out of his neck. He doesn’t like fire. And you definitely remember his name, because it’s the title of the movie. Oh, and maybe you’ll think of a squat little man with a hump, called Igor.

If you have actually read the novel, "Frankenstein" by Mary Shelley, you will know that you were lied to. I know it hurts, but all of these classic movie images are complete and utter lies. I’m very sorry. Except I’m not because the classic "Frankenstein" is way better. Here’s why.

First off, the mad scientist is not an old man with crazy eyes and an unpronounceable German name. The mad scientist is Frankenstein, himself, Victor Frankenstein to be exact. And he’s about 20 years old. There is no creepy castle and no crazy lab. Frankenstein is basically a freshman in college, who shuts himself up in his dorm room while he conducts some experiment that he doesn’t want his RA to know about. And then bad stuff happens.

Now, the monster. So we’ve already established that the monster is not called Frankenstein. The monster is nameless, and that’s kind of important in a symbolic, literary sort of way that all the English Majors get super excited about. Throughout the whole book, he kind of just gets referred to as “The Creature.” Yes, he is rather unfortunate looking but he doesn’t have screws sticking out of his neck, nor does he gurgle and grunt half-formed words and phrases. Actually, he’s smarter than Frankenstein. Like way smarter. Frankenstein is kind of pathetic in comparison. In the beginning of the book, Victor goes on at length about his education as a child and how he incorrectly taught himself science and took ages to learn a second language. Meanwhile, the Creature modestly lets us know that he taught himself how to speak, read, and write, all in the span of two years. And as he is telling us all of this, pure poetry is coming out of his mouth because he’s super eloquent. It’s kind of great.

And finally, Igor… he doesn’t exist. Sorry. I don’t really know where he came from, either. Just not a thing.

And now you know. Frankenstein was a whiney, scientist-wannabe. The Creature was an intelligent, articulate man. And Igor never happened. Go forth and continue to educate yourself by reading the classic novel! It’s kind of famous for a reason.