Writing Has Allowed Me To Be More Of The Me I Want To Be

Writing Has Allowed Me To Be More Of The Me I Want To Be

It allows me to be as vulnerable, as transparent, and as open as I have ever wanted to be.


I am currently reading Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert, one of my favorite authors, and I got to a part in her book that really resonates with me. She made a vow as a teenager to always write, no matter what she was going through or what she had been doing. Every day for just thirty minutes. She didn't care if she had nothing to write or if what she was writing was shit, none of that mattered. What mattered to her was getting to write and her writing improving, without that being a conscious end goal.

When I read about her writing I think about when I started writing poems in middle school. I think the "poem phase" is a phase that we have all been through and the lucky ones were just able to keep up with it. Or, possibly the lucky ones were just so deep into their head to keep up with it. Either way, I would say that I started expressing myself through writing then. I knew then I wanted to write more, but I didn't know how or where to go. Not until I was out of a bad relationship did I think that I have spent enough time sitting in my head. I wasn't sure how to start or where to start, and to be honest I had no clue what "The Odyssey Online" was. But here I am.

Writing has been ultimately the biggest outlet for me. If you have kept up with my articles you know I have talked in depth about my toxic relationship, you know how I feel about abuse, you know that parental infidelity had hurt me as a child, you know what I think about religion and being agnostic, you know where I currently am in this world, you know my views on suicide, you know how I deal with anxiety, and you know how I feel. For some, this means that I have shared my personal business with strangers, which is looked down upon, but to me, it has been much more than that. I have reached a part of me that I have not been able to in the past. I am not sure if it is being vulnerable and transparent that has helped me reached this level of me or everyone who has ever thanked me for any of the articles I have written. To know that I have reached so many people means much more to me than anyone could ever imagine.

Maybe it's a bit of both. One thing that Gilbert does mention in Big Magic is that one should never write to help others or with the intention to help anyone but themselves. And sometimes, when I go to write I think about other people before I think about myself, and that makes it hard to write. Not that I don't care about other people or that my feelings should always come first, but I know how it feels to write. Writing everything that I feel - pain, anxiety, heartbreak, happiness, and even the joy of discovering new places - is for me, and knowing that others can resonate with that, is just a bonus. Writing for me is how it feels to finally do something right. That all that you have endured as a person has led you up to this moment, and for once you feel like you have a bit of reason. But I know that writing doesn't make everyone feel that way and I know that writing about my business and my family's business isn't what someone would think is a good idea, but that is okay cause it's my life to heal, not your's or their's.

Writing has allowed me to express myself in more ways than I could have imagined. And not just here, but anywhere. I used to write how I'd feel or what I would think during lectures in school, and I still write in a journal. I don't always write when I want to but I know how it feels after I write and I know what it does for me. It allows me to be all that I have ever wanted to be. It allows me to be as vulnerable, as transparent, and as open as I have ever wanted to be. As weird as this is, I want people to see right through me. Nothing to hide, nothing different, nothing new, nothing they would ever be surprised about, they can just take one look at me and think what they'd like. And as troubling as that might be for some, it's the most liberating part of my writing.

Popular Right Now

I'm A Woman And You Can't Convince Me Breastfeeding In Public Is OK In 2019

Sorry, not sorry.


Lately, I have seen so many people going off on social media about how people shouldn't be upset with mothers breastfeeding in public. You know what? I disagree.

There's a huge difference between being modest while breastfeeding and just being straight up careless, trashy and disrespectful to those around you. Why don't you try popping out a boob without a baby attached to it and see how long it takes for you to get arrested for public indecency? Strange how that works, right?

So many people talking about it bring up the point of how we shouldn't "sexualize" breastfeeding and seeing a woman's breasts while doing so. Actually, all of these people are missing the point. It's not sexual, it's just purely immodest and disrespectful.

If you see a girl in a shirt cut too low, you call her a slut. If you see a celebrity post a nude photo, you call them immodest and a terrible role model. What makes you think that pulling out a breast in the middle of public is different, regardless of what you're doing with it?

If I'm eating in a restaurant, I would be disgusted if the person at the table next to me had their bare feet out while they were eating. It's just not appropriate. Neither is pulling out your breast for the entire general public to see.

Nobody asked you to put a blanket over your kid's head to feed them. Nobody asked you to go feed them in a dirty bathroom. But you don't need to basically be topless to feed your kid. Growing up, I watched my mom feed my younger siblings in public. She never shied away from it, but the way she did it was always tasteful and never drew attention. She would cover herself up while doing it. She would make sure that nothing inappropriate could be seen. She was lowkey about it.

Mindblowing, right? Wait, you can actually breastfeed in public and not have to show everyone what you're doing? What a revolutionary idea!

There is nothing wrong with feeding your baby. It's something you need to do, it's a part of life. But there is definitely something wrong with thinking it's fine to expose yourself to the entire world while doing it. Nobody wants to see it. Nobody cares if you're feeding your kid. Nobody cares if you're trying to make some sort of weird "feminist" statement by showing them your boobs.

Cover up. Be modest. Be mindful. Be respectful. Don't want to see my boobs? Good, I don't want to see yours either. Hard to believe, I know.

Related Content

Connect with a generation
of new voices.

We are students, thinkers, influencers, and communities sharing our ideas with the world. Join our platform to create and discover content that actually matters to you.

Learn more Start Creating

Wearing Sneakers To The Gym Just Isn't Going To Cut It These Days

Going to the gym is more than just working out its about having the right gadgets and outfits to go with it.


I am an advocate of making sure you sweat once a day, I love going to the gym. I blast my music, feel my muscles fatiuging, and sweat it out. As I have been going to the gym more I have noticed that people's outfits to the gym are more than just your average t-shirt and leggings people wear multicolored and matching attire and are geared up with their Apple airpods and watches.

I personally go with an old T-shirt and throw on my freshly washed leggings and my running shoes and I am ready to go, but I see how dressing in the full work out attire has a positive impact on your gym session. Feeling fully motivated in your new matching gym getup is important as you will want to work out harder and push yourself being that you are fully in the right gear. As I progress in attending the gym I want to get an Apple watch and track my data.

It is important to move your body for at least once an hour a day and by going to the gym you are ensuring this movement. Eating right also puts you on track and if you are working out and eating right you will surely soon see your hard work. NoIt doesn't matter what you wear to the gym as long as you are there your making progress. It is important however to stay motivated because in order to get anything out of the gym you have to participate and in doing so wearing a cute gym out fit will only make this better.


Related Content

Facebook Comments