How To Write Your Midterm Paper In 24 Hours (Or Less)!
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Student Life

How To Write Your Midterm Paper In 24 Hours (Or Less)!

All it takes is five easy steps!

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How To Write Your Midterm Paper In 24 Hours (Or Less)!
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STAGE 1: Denial

“No no no - that due date can’t be right. The professor reviewed our theses two classes ago, so how could they expect us to write fourteen pages with footnotes on it in less than a week? Anyways, I definitely have more than 24 hours to do research, whip up a bibliography, and write the goddamn thing - hell, why am I even worrying about this, these kinds of assignments write themselves.

But... I suppose it wouldn’t hurt if I checked the sylla-“

“-bus”


STAGE 2: Anger

[EDITOR’S NOTE: The following section has been excised due to inordinate amounts of profanity, violence, and references to memes that stopped being funny and/or relevant 10 years ago. We apologize for the inconvenience.]

STAGE 3: Bargaining

"Okay, okay, calm down - this will be completely 100% fine; I just have to make some sacrifices, that's all. It's not like I needsleep, food, hygiene, or my sanity... right?"

Goddammit.

STAGE 4: Depression


As the adrenaline and caffeine high wears off, you are forced to face your worst nightmare: you're going to fail. There's no way you'll get this done in time - not when you're in this state, tired and hungry and weak and worn and completely, utterly broken.

"Some model student you are. You could have avoided all of this so easily if you were diligent and disciplined, but no, you had to have a five-hour Netflix binge every night for the past week, then look each episode up on TV Tropes and go on two-hour wiki walks. And for what? Some short-term pleasure that ultimately means nothing in the long run? Pathetic."

The voice continues to bombard you, assault you, taunt you with infinite possibilities, all of them absolutely terrible. It tries to silence you, but... wait.

You're far too close to finishing this once and for all just to give up like this. And so, you press onward to the bitter end.

STAGE 5: Acceptance

Against all odds, you manage to finish your midterm. Sure, it probably sucks, and you're on the verge of death - but at least you won't be penalized for getting it in late. Hooray!!

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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