"God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble." James 4:6
I have experienced in my life that when I wrestle with God, I always end up losing. Growing up, I used to be a huge fan of World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE), and I would see how many of the big guys would always diminish the tiny wrestlers. Similarly, God unfortunately, there are times that we oppose him because our pride gets in the way, and when we oppose him he resists us and he blocks us in every corner. I used to wrestle with God, and I continue to wrestle with God in certain areas. I’m sure we can all agree that we struggle with this. These are the areas where I wrestled God with, and what I learned with each battle:
- I was a bright student and I didn’t want to give it up to serve God.
I had one of the highest grade-point-averages (GPA) in my high school. I was part in one of the brightest programs in Miami-Dade County Public schools, which offered a difficult schedule of classes to take from freshman to senior year. The reward at the end was a special diploma from the program that almost guaranteed automatic entry into any International-Baccalaureate (IB) university in the nation. In my case, my dream was always to graduate with that IB diploma, and to go to one of those dream schools. As a result, my spiritual life was stagnant because I was giving more time to homework and studying than to God. Ultimately, I had to surrender this program, one of the most difficult situations that I had to do. I was ridiculed in my school; people thought that I was dumb for doing it, considering the bright student that I was. But in the end, I saw an explosion of God’s passion pouring in me; I saw revival in Coral Gables Senior High school, and many students experienced the presence of God through me.
- There was an outpour of finances and I didn’t want to die to it.
My dream was always to purchase a brand new vehicle. I was very stingy with my finances. I was blessed with a full-time job and then I stopped honoring my family and my spiritual mentors. My dream was to save up for a brand new car and a brand new house in the future. God brought a tribulation into my life where my step-dad separated from my mom after ten years of living together. I was the eldest son in my house, so I had to step out of my childish ways and work harder to be able to provide for a better future for my family. It was the hardest decision that I had to make, because I had to give up my dreams. However, I learned through this that one day when I have my own family, it will be easier to die because I know what it felt like to do it when I was younger.
- I wrestled God in the area of my purpose.
Ever since I was little, I considered myself talented in many areas. I was excellent at math, I loved to read, I could write great poetry, and I was a creative thinker. I never imagined myself being called for ministry, and never did I seek it nor did I think that I could do it. I battled this area for many months coming into church; I thought that I would just be someone ordinary, a regular school teacher, or maybe some mathematician scientists, or a real estate agent. I always thought that I would be good at numbers and I could eventually work in a bank, which eventually, did happen. But God showed me a vision in my spiritual baby stage that shook me forever. I realized that I wanted a greater passion for God and I felt like I was being held back. The vision that he showed me was a conference with a large crowd or audience. I was ministering and I made an altar call where there were people in wheelchairs, glasses, casts, and other objects that strained them or immobilized them. I remember in the vision that I released a declaration word, and instantly, they were all healed. From then on, that was a revelation to me that I was called for ministry. I haven’t turned back since. I still go to school, but I believe that my major will support my calling for God.
I’m not an old person; I am still young and I continue to learn. However, from the little experience that I have gained, I see that when we resist God, he puts a wall in our life that we cannot cross. We rebel against him because deep down we think we are right and that our way should be done. Unfortunately, if we have that way of thinking, God will eventually shut us up, and change the way that we think. Have you been wrestling with God? What has been difficult for you to let go of? Is it a relationship? Is it a friend? It is maybe your own studies? Is it your job? Is it your money? It’s time to seek him, and ask him for grace to help you surrender it. Don’t wrestle with him! He will always win the war.