10 November 2017

An Open Letter to the Best Friend I'm Losing

A Best Friend Can Slip Away With No Reason.


I didn't know the person who brought the most smiles and laughs to my face would be the person who made me cry the most. 

Dear Best Friend, 

    You were the best thing that ever happened to me. For the past five and a half years, you have been there through the worst times and some of the best, and I didn't think that anyone would be as important to me as you are. It never crossed my mind that there would be a time where we don't talk. I thought we would always be friends, but here we are not talking or associating with each other. 

    Honestly, I feel as though you are slipping through my fingers and I don't know why. I'm trying to grasp and hold on, but there is nothing I can do to stop you. I feel lost without you because you were always there to guide me. I am unsure if you realize the impact you have made on my life. You helped me process through my feelings, and now, I feel like I am stuck underwater, watching everyone else breathe. I lay in bed at night remembering all the times that we have been together. I reread all of our text conversations, hoping and praying that you would message me again. 

    I remember our first conversation on the football field. I remember the theatre productions. I remember all those early morning McDonald's breakfast runs before you left town. I remember all of our ice cream hang outs. I remember going to the drive in. I remember our first kiss, our long tight hugs, our late night conversations.I remember them all. I don't know if you realize the impact you have made on me and how much it kills me not hanging out and talking. You were always so happy and always made me laugh. I would be in the midst of tears and you would text or snap-chat me and  I would instantly feel better. Not only did I fall for you, but I fell in love with our friendship. 

   Not a day goes by that I don't think about you or pray for you. Sometimes I catch myself debating if I want to message you or not. I get stuck in my thoughts of not wanting to bother you, but yearning to talk to you. Sometimes I wish I would get a direct answer on our friendship because I die a little bit everyday not talking to you. I don't know if I would try so hard keeping any other one of my friends, but five and a half years is a long time to just loose it suddenly. So many feelings invested into it, I don't think I can quit. Please don't keep slipping through my fingers. 


The girl wishing for the friendship