To all of the people that can religiously exercise in a gym without a second thought, I admire you. Most of my life, I have walked down practically every avenue to maintain a healthy weight that was not inclusive of going to the gym. Honestly, I have been avoiding exercise altogether in recent years because I feel as if I simply don't know what I am doing. Aside from doing occasional crunches on my living room floor or walking to my destination instead of driving, I have had extremely minimal experience when it comes to working out — and this lack of experience relates to anxiety about going to the gym.
To account for the handful of times I actually have exercised in a gym, I never strayed far from the treadmill or the elliptical because I had absolutely no clue what any of the other machines were used for. Even when I did alternate between these two machines, I could not help but feel extremely self-conscious in this setting as I watched the people around me bounce back and forth between weights and machines I (still) don't know the names of. In my mind, it was always the questions appearing of whether or not I was staying at the gym long enough, drawing any attention to myself, and of course, the ultimate question — are these experienced gym regulars judging me?
I still don't know if that was truly the case, or if I was simply overthinking the situation. Nonetheless, my anxiety reached the levels of where I wanted absolutely no part of hitting the gym or exercise in general. Then came along some severe stressors in my life, and next thing you know I had become very unhappy with my body. Between alcohol intake, poor food choices and lack of sleep, I had reached the point where I was not only self-conscious of working out at the gym, but I was starting to get self-conscious in my own skin.
It wasn't until recently that the thought crossed my mind — if I am uncomfortable with the way that I feel, why not ask for help? I began to do some research and eventually found a personal training company in Chicago that I thought might suit my beginner needs. Soon enough, I was matched with an excellent personal trainer, though I was given the option to do at-home training sessions or to go to my trainer's gym and exercise. I felt as though I was already taking a huge step in even wanting to engage in exercise, so I may as well dive completely in and get the experience of what it was like to work out in a gym properly and learn about the equipment.
Though I am only one training session in and have many more to go, after my first experience I can easily say that my anxiety levels surrounding working out at the gym have decreased. Don't get me wrong — it's still there, it's just not through the roof as it once were. It was incredibly helpful to have someone walk me through the process of a proper, full-body workout and genuinely wants to help me achieve my goals. Oddly enough, my trainer said that I was not one of the most inexperienced clients that she had worked with (as I once assumed), and that I have a great sense of potential in my desires to become more fit. I feel incredibly lucky to have met someone that is willing to work with me on the level that I am at, and I look forward to the feelings of energy and accomplishment that follow an impactful workout.