Words in context. What I mean by that is how you use and say words and what context it is in.

People nowadays see words and immediately jump to the definition that they know. Now we don't know if it's always the right definition, it could've been some shorter version of the definition, a misinterpretation of it, or someone else's own definition of it. You can say one word to someone and to someone else it will mean differently. Words change over time, and it will continue to change.

When it comes to "taboo/hurtful" words it can be taken in so many ways but mostly it will be taken negatively when it is not used in the right context. There is no right way to address this, but there are ways we can make sure that the words can be used at the right place and right time without offending or hurting someone's feeling.

If you are able to call someone close to you a "taboo word", like the T-word, N-Word, or any other derogatory word, then you both have reached a level of consent that is between you and that other person. Although you may say those kinds of words to that one person(s) it isn't alright or appropriate to say those words online, in person or in any kind of communication unless you know the feelings and have a sense of consent with the people around you.

Closely related groups of people may be okay with saying inappropriate words around to each other, but you wouldn't say the N-word to someone who is part of the black/African-American community without their consent or approval of saying that word around them. Certain words have a powerful effect on people. Negative or positive it doesn't matter. You would have to be careful in the words you say, because it can be a very powerful effect on someone. Sometimes the intentions of saying certain words are good, but it can be perceived in the wrong way when someone or some people are caught off guard by the word because of how powerful it can be in situations.

I understand that there is a thing called free speech. The law does allow free speech to exist but it does not protect you from any consequences you may face following the words you may have said. Words aren't meaningless, they mean many different things to people depending on their cultural background, language and the context it is being used in.

Now there is a thing called "Reclaimed words." Those words are those that has a history of being derogatory in the past or throughout history but has been used over and over again recently as a way to reclaim the word and use them in a more positive way. For example, the word "Queer" is not negative by definition but has been used negatively in the past as term to describe the weird, abnormal people. For some people it is an empowering tool to reclaim that word and use it for describing themselves in terms of identity. The word "gay" was used as a slur throughout history that lost its original meaning. Originally the word means "happy" but now it is used as a sexual orientation word, which basically means romantic/sexual relationship between males/male-identifying or it's also in conjunction with the word lesbian (romantic/sexual relationship between females/female-identifying.) Be careful when you use words that has been recently reclaimed like "queer" for some it is still offensive, but for others it may not be. Unless someone has told you or you have asked them if they're okay with the word "queer" it would be wise to not say that word, unless you know for sure you are in a space where it is acceptable.

There is a time and place for everything. Words are not just words, they have meaning, they have effects on people, they can be powerful in a negative or positive way. You have to make that judgement.