Women and Sex Addiction

Women and Sex Addiction

Everything you need to know about Women Sex Addition.
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Women develop a sex addiction the same as men do, only it may take a form that makes it harder to recognize.

Unlike addictions that involve drug abuse or other behaviors such as alcoholism or gambling, sex addiction comes with far more cultural baggage. Our society tends to look at men as sexual aggressors. They are the ones who are out looking for it and the more they get, the better. They are the Don Juan's, the studs.

Women, meanwhile, are seen as the targets of this behavior and for them, having a lot of sex can earn them the label of a "whore" or "slut." The culture sees women as beings who do not want sex and have to be talked into it somehow. Of course, these are sweeping generalizations that vary from place to place and social circle to social circle, but hints of it can be seen nearly everywhere.

It does not mean that women cannot develop sex addiction, but it does mean an addicted woman's behavior and motivation may be slightly altered from a man's.

First, what sets off a sex addiction is when the person, female, begins using sex to run interference on emotion which is negative. It feels good and releases brain chemicals that drown out other chemicals that cause her to feel bad. The woman is seeking sex because they are aroused), it's being done to avoid something else. The behavior becomes a full addiction when that behavior causes problems for the person, and all attempts to stop it fail.

It tends to be different for women in the following ways.women suffering from this issue are often seeking the highs that come from romance and love, even though the relationships they are in have little connection with those two things.

Where a man might be content with the physical sex act, a woman is likely to go after the emotional highs one gets at the start of a relationship. She will go from one partner to another seeking that high, leaving the previous relationship when the high wears off. Of course in some cases, the woman is married or in a solid relationship, and cheats on her significant other in seeking those powerful first date emotions.

As the cycle goes on,The mature ladies love young men enter these relationships at a greater frequency and express a greater and greater enthusiasm for them at the outset. She may use physical sex to secure the relationships, ignoring the dangers of unwanted pregnancy, or sexually transmitted illnesses. These are the negative consequences of her actions, and in the female addict, they will be rationalized or ignored.

How a woman obtains sex, because of different cultural expectations, may also showcase itself in more manipulative behaviors rather than direct ones. Whereas a male will simply go to a prostitute, a female is more likely choose a different route, possibly putting herself in situations that make her vulnerable to sexual advancements or just not being picky in her romantic partners.

Source: GirlsSpecial.com

While women also can fall into heavy use of pornography and masturbation in, there is some science behind men being more affected by visual sexual stimulus than women, so in a female, this behavior is less likely to be seen. Women may lean towards forms of exhibitionism, such as wearing overly revealing clothing, putting an excessive amount time into sexualizing their appearance, or even "accidentally" revealing themselves to men.

Here, cultural norms and mores can muddy the waters and make identifying sexually compulsive behavior in a woman difficult. How revealing is too revealing? Is a woman exposing herself in some situations less likely to be seen as a problem than if a man were to do it the same way? This could matter when it comes to linking the negative consequences to the sexual behaviors.

The behaviors of female sex addicts, in some cases, may come off as more socially acceptable than they would on a male. A woman dancing at a club who becomes overly aggressive may be met with a different reaction that it would with a male. The same goes for flirting behavior. The acts are still doing the job of creating feel good brain chemicals to thwart negative emotions, and at some point, they will have to increase and will lead to problems; however, they may not be seen for what they are, symptoms of sex addiction.

A male addict will often have periods where he can abstain from the sexual behavior; however, his resolve breaks down after a short time. Women can abstain for longer periods but tend to replace the addiction with something else, like eating or alcohol consumption.

References:

https://psychcentral.com/lib/what-is-sexual-addict

http://www.psychguides.com/guides/sex-addiction-sy...

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I Went To "The Bachelor" Auditions

And here's why you won’t be seeing me on TV.
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It’s finally time to admit my guilty pleasure: I have always been a huge fan of The Bachelor.

I can readily admit that I’ve been a part of Bachelor fantasy leagues, watch parties, solo watching — you name it, I’ve gone the whole nine yards. While I will admit that the show can be incredibly trashy at times, something about it makes me want to watch it that much more. So when I found out that The Bachelor was holding auditions in Houston, I had to investigate.

While I never had the intention of actually auditioning, there was no way I would miss an opportunity to spend some time people watching and check out the filming location of one of my favorite TV shows.

The casting location of The Bachelor, The Downtown Aquarium in Houston, was less than two blocks away from my office. I assumed that I would easily be able to spot the audition line, secretly hoping that the endless line of people would beg the question: what fish could draw THAT big of a crowd?

As I trekked around the tanks full of aquatic creatures in my bright pink dress and heels (feeling somewhat silly for being in such nice clothes in an aquarium and being really proud of myself for somewhat looking the part), I realized that these auditions would be a lot harder to find than I thought.

Finally, I followed the scent of hairspray leading me up the elevator to the third floor of the aquarium.

The doors slid open. I found myself at the end of a large line of 20-something-year-old men and women and I could feel all eyes on me, their next competitor. I watched as one woman pulled out her travel sized hair curler, someone practiced answering interview questions with a companion, and a man (who was definitely a little too old to be the next bachelor) trying out his own pick-up lines on some of the women standing next to him.

I walked to the end of the line (trying to maintain my nonchalant attitude — I don’t want to find love on a TV show). As I looked around, I realized that one woman had not taken her eyes off of me. She batted her fake eyelashes and looked at her friend, mumbling something about the *grumble mumble* “girl in the pink dress.”

I felt a wave of insecurity as I looked down at my body, immediately beginning to recognize the minor flaws in my appearance.

The string hanging off my dress, the bruise on my ankle, the smudge of mascara I was sure I had on the left corner of my eye. I could feel myself begin to sweat. These women were all so gorgeous. Everyone’s hair was perfectly in place, their eyeliner was done flawlessly, and most of them looked like they had just walked off the runway. Obviously, I stuck out like a sore thumb.

I walked over to the couches and sat down. For someone who for the most part spent most of the two hours each Monday night mocking the cast, I was shocked by how much pressure and tension I felt in the room.

A cop, stationed outside the audition room, looked over at me. After a brief explanation that I was just there to watch, he smiled and offered me a tour around the audition space. I watched the lines of beautiful people walk in and out of the space, realizing that each and every one of these contestants to-be was fixated on their own flaws rather than actually worrying about “love.”

Being with all these people, I can see why it’s so easy to get sucked into the fantasy. Reality TV sells because it’s different than real life. And really, what girl wouldn’t like a rose?

Why was I so intimidated by these people? Reality TV is actually the biggest oxymoron. In real life, one person doesn’t get to call all the shots. Every night isn’t going to be in a helicopter looking over the south of France. A real relationship depends on more than the first impression.

The best part of being in a relationship is the reality. The best part about yourself isn’t your high heels. It’s not the perfect dress or the great pick-up lines. It’s being with the person that you can be real with. While I will always be a fan of The Bachelor franchise, this was a nice dose of reality. I think I’ll stick to my cheap sushi dates and getting caught in the rain.

But for anyone who wants to be on The Bachelor, let me just tell you: Your mom was right. There really are a lot of fish in the sea. Or at least at the aquarium.

Cover Image Credit: The Cut

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The 5 Types of Retail Customers

A run-down on the many forms of customers you either encounter as a retail employee or are guilty of being.

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We all get summer jobs or seasonal jobs at some place to get that extra cash when we find ourselves broke after spending $300+ on Ubers/Lyfts in under a month (possibly speaking from personal experience). This in turn led me to broaden my job searching horizons and led me to work at a fast food chain that goes by the name of 'Salsaritas' (ironic since my nickname is Salsa, also was not intentional) and currently a retail store at a local mall. So, I guess it's safe to say that I have come across a lot of different people with a whole lot of personality. Working in these types of industries, it can sometimes be really hard and pretty interesting. So voila, here we go:

1. The Always Angry Customer

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This is the customer that is constantly angry. They walk in pissed off and they want everyone else to know that they are pissed off. This type of customer also uses at least one of these following sentences: "Let me talk to your manager. Who's your manager?" or the "How long have you been working here for?" Honestly, there's not much you can do to help them other than try to just do what they ask for and get them the hell out of there as quickly as possible.

2. The Messy Customer

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Easily one of the most annoying types of customers (sorry). This person will walk and run their hands through an entire counter or rack full of perfectly folded clothes, unfold them, and then just leave them on the counter or on the floor. They also have the "it's fine, it's their job to fold them" mentality. Honestly though, how hard is it to put a jacket or shirt back on a hanger? And if you're this type of customer please, please, please, put what you found back where it came from. Sincerely, every retail employee ever.

3. The Super Nice Customer

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This customer is god-send and thank god that they exist. They are the ones who you can just tell are genuinely good people. New at work and don't know how the hell to ring up a customer at a register? No worries, they'll wait there patiently, smile at you, and occasionally tell you that "you're doing great sweetie." They treat you like you're not just a retail employee and at the end of the day, you just wanna give them a hug for making your day feel less shitty.

4. The Talkative Customer

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There's two parts to this one. This type of customer is either talking on the phone while you're ringing them up at the register or is just trying to get to know literally everything there is to know about you. If they're on the phone, it's impossible to know if they're responding to you or to the person who they're on the phone with. The worst part is when they hold up one finger to signal to you that they'll be just a minute and leave you to just awkwardly stand in front of them while trying not to listen to their entire conversation. The other part is when they just want to get to know you which is cute and all until they're just trying to analyze your entire background, where you're from, what you're studying, etc. Luckily if you're like me who wasn't born in the U.S. with a very ethnic name, you just scored yourself a talkative customer. Well done and good luck getting out of the conversation!

5. The Last Minute Customer

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Imagine that you just did an 8 hour shift and right when you're about to clock out and head out to go home, you see a customer walking in literally a minute or two before the whole mall is about to close. They'll probably ask you if you're about to close even though they can see that there's not a single person inside there other than you. They'll also probably tell you that they know exactly what they're looking for. It's never true and get ready for that OT. But hey, on the bright-side, you'll get a fat pay-check.


So, the next time you find yourself at a mall...Remind yourself to pick up something you might've accidentally dropped, keep in mind that workers are human beings too, and kindness goes a long way because at the end of the day, that employee could be one of your loved ones.

Until next time,

Salsa.


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