Being a minority is not easy. There are daily campaigns brought against the LGBTQ+ community, simply because of how we were born. Even now with marriage equality in the United States, there are so many more hurdles to overcome. For many of us that have grown up around discrimination, bullying, and general misunderstanding, we have built up very thick skin. The daily (intentional or unintentional) belittlement from our peers can make some introversive, self-loathing, and reclusive.

Some others channel this hurt, anger, and oppression into confidence, power and use it as motivation to get to the top. Needless to say, I side with the latter. The best learning is through experience, so I have adopted the events of my past into my own nuclear arsenal of social and emotional destruction.

So here are 8 reasons not to mess with a gay guy like me.

1. Gossip

Don’t worry you wont have to push someone in front of a bus to have this feeling. All you have to do is piss me off and, my, how the rumors will fly.

2. Truth

You may not want to revisit your past, but we do! Everyone has skeletons in their closets and we would love to do some spring cleaning for you!

3. Relevance

Chances are that we made you relevant. Since we created you, disassembling you will be easier than taking apart Ikea furniture. So stay down!

4. Social Games

Before you know it, you will be persona non grata. People will say hi to you but that’s about it, because we said so.

5. Mind Games

We would not waste time on someone who we barely know. So we probably know you pretty well and how to mess with you. I would say prepare yourself, but you can’t.

6. Manipulation

We know you too well. We can get you to do whatever we want without you even knowing it. You may even be working against yourself and you would not even know it.

7. Insecurity

Everyone has at least one major insecurity that makes us question our confidence and ultimately ourselves. We will encourage that insecurity to grow and you won’t even realize it until its too late. Sorry, not sorry.

8. Kindness

This is probably my favorite tactic. It’s amazing what you can hide with a smile. You know what they say, "Keep your enemies closer." With a person’s trust, you will know the perfect time to strike and hit them hardest. The only downside to this method is that it requires a lot of patience, waiting and calculating. Oh but is it fun!

Just because we can, does not mean we should. I believe in karma and that malicious acts will come back to you in one way or another. However, sometimes, the satisfaction is certainly worth it.

In case you are still wondering my M.O., I think Christopher Palu said it best:

You know you love me!