To the Woman Who Isn't Sure if She Should Leave:
"Love is blind."
We've all heard the idiom at one time or another. It's true that we overlook things in a relationship. We tell ourselves that everyone has their flaws, and no relationship is perfect.
I ask you this: Do you see yourself marrying this person? If you are married, do you see it working out? I'm sure you have a loving support system, whether it be friends or family. Do your friends and family like this person? Have they voiced any concerns about your relationship or your health in the past?
Let's talk about the pros and cons. Do you enjoy the time you spend with him- or do you become anxious or depressed when they're around? It's important to be moving towards the same goals in life with your partner. Are both of you putting in the same amount of effort? Does this person constantly ask you "Who are you talking to?" "What are you doing?"They probably give you commands? "You are not wearing that!"
Abuse does not have to be physical. It can be emotional and psychological as well. Having to constantly check in, being isolated from your friends and family. If your partner is making you feel invalid or less than in any way, it's time to kick them to the curb. They probably gas light you. They'll push all your buttons and when you start to call them out on their bullshit, they will turn it around and make everything your fault. I promise you it is not your fault. Your partner should never have to guilt you into feeling a certain way. Your feelings are valid too! If this is a common theme in your relationship, this is not healthy.
When you are in an unhealthy relationship, you often don't realize it. I promise you, if you have any inkling that any of the things I am mentioning is what your relationship is like, I implore you to end it now. Otherwise, it will never get better, and it will escalate.
Thirty-five percent of women worldwide have experienced physical or sexual violence from their partner. Half of all women killed globally are killed by their partners. 1 in 4 women over the age of 18 will experience physical violence from their partner in their lifetime. Half of all men and women experience psychological abuse, and younger women (under age 35) will experience the highest rates of abuse by their partner. Most women who are victims will experience violence by the same partner more than once. Don't let yourself be part of this. It is not your fault, you are not alone. Do not be afraid to leave. It is worth it.
Sincerely,
Someone Who Cares