Without this extra baggage of an anxiety disorder, life would be a lot less complicated. Perhaps I would be more social, and maybe have kept more friends. Perhaps I would be living away at at school on the west coast getting a completely different degree. But without anxiety, who would I be?
I was born anxious, quite literally. I can remember being overly irrational and anxious since I was a toddler. I can't imagine a day where I didn't worry about something. It's just part of my personality. For so long I wished I didn't have anxiety and that I could be normal. I do wish that. But at the same time, without it, I wouldn't be me.
My anxiety disorder helps me to be more empathetic and a better listener, and in turn, a better friend, sister, girlfriend. My anxiety disorder helped me to decide that I wanted to go to school for psychology and become a therapist to help others like me. My anxiety disorder helps me to stay organized and on top of schoolwork, and to avoid tardiness. My anxiety disorder helps me to be more safe in everyday life and to avoid activities that are potentially harmful to myself or others. My anxiety disorder helps me to be a more focused employee, student, and person. The list goes on and on.
As much as I hate having anxiety and all the negatives that come with it, I'm grateful. I'm grateful for the person I am today. A hardworking, determined, caring, responsible young adult. Thanks to anxiety. Without my anxiety disorder I wouldn't be who I am. I would be a stranger. If having anxiety means I get to be myself, then it's worth keeping around.