Dear Self, I Wish I Loved You More

Dear Self, I Wish I Loved You More

I'm so sorry what I have put you through

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I am sorry for not defending you.

People often tell you that you're either being too much or giving too little of yourself and I actually started to believe their words too. Whenever they tell you to shut up and make you feel selfish for choosing to speak your mind, I always tell you to hold back whatever thought you have at the back of your mind. I have spent too much time trying to please them without realizing that you were gradually losing pieces of yourself in the process.

I am sorry for torturing you mentally.

You have been so used to pain and unhappy endings so when something good finally happens, I always try to make you remember that everything has an expiration date, even hope. I always force you to jump to a conclusion instead of just letting you do things freely while hoping that they will not end up as bad as you think they would.

I am sorry for not saving you.

I was aware when the demons under your bed slowly crawling in your head but I didn't do anything about it. I saw the shadows that follow you everywhere but I didn't even try to drive them away. I witnessed how you've gone through the worst days of your life, I know how it felt when you slowly being swallowed by the black hole that has been lurking inside every part of you, but I didn't stop it either.

I am sorry for not checking up on you every now and then.

I taught you to bottle up everything inside because things will be easier that way. I made you think that by opening up yourself up, people will only result in getting them hurt and I know you wouldn't want that to happen. I always tell you should never let people see how fragile you are because I can't accept the fact that you are no longer whole, that you are probably more broken then everyone else, I forced you into believing that you could pull yourself together because you need to be strong.

I am sorry for not loving you enough.

I sometimes hate you for being you. There have been many attempts to escape, I was sitting with you in the middle of the night when you cried your heart out with your left hand over your mouth and the right one on your chest. I never told you this but I'm proud of you for making it this far. If only I learned how to choose you first whenever I have the chance to do so, I would've loved you more then the way I do right now.

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Here's To Being Me And Not Changing For Anyone

I am not who everyone thinks I should be, and chances are, neither are you.

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I live in a special kind of world. I see everything as confetti, cupcakes, unicorns, and rainbows. I am extremely naive. I never break the rules. I am a "goody-two-shoes" to the highest degree. I am the girl that has defied it all.

I drive my mother crazy because I am very trusting of others and I get extremely upset and let down when someone betrays me, but even then, I will give them chance after chance. I struggle with realizing that people will fail me. I feel as though since I am nice to everyone, they should be nice to me. Well, this is not reality.

I want to be everyone's friend and go-to gal, but I have had to learn that people will take advantage of me. People see me as a weak innocent young lady, and I am like a fat man to a cupcake when it comes to being taken over by someone else.

I know why this happens, but I do not know how to stop it. I love getting to know people and investing in others' lives, but how do I protect my heart in the process?

I know I cannot possibly be the only person that sees their glass as half-full or completely running over all of the time, so we must come together. The world is a horrible nasty place, but there is no reason that it has to be.

Why can the world not be confetti, cupcakes, unicorns, and rainbows? It is all about our mindset as a society. If we were all just a bit sweeter to our neighbor, classmate, coworker, child, sibling, or even the incarcerated, would it really be that hard of a change?

So, instead of changing myself to have a harder heart or a negative outlook on life, I think I will change the world. I do not have to be like everyone else, because there is unity in diversity. I simply want to see others succeed and make the world just a tiny bit better.

I encourage you today to not change for society.

Stay in your world and make it your reality.

Who knows? Maybe a good dose of some confetti wouldn't be so bad for everyone.

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4 Ways Being Confident Can Improve Your Life

Everyone knows that it's better to be confident, but here are some actual ways it will change your life!

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I haven't always considered myself to be a confident person until recently. Now that I am, I can see the various ways it has impacted my life.

1. You'll be glowing!

Confidence makes you look so much better because of the way it radiates off of you. Confident people can light up a room right when they walk in it. You don't have to be prettier or smarter than anyone to have this confidence; you just have to be proud of your own individual differences.

My confidence doesn't stem from the way I look or the way I preform at school or work, but from the recognition I have of my own big heart. I am confident because I know I'm kind, funny, and friendly. People can see this in me now that I'm aware of it, but I wasn't always.

2. You'll have less fear!

When you're confident in yourself, you won't have to think twice before putting yourself out there. You won't be as scared of doing things because you'll be more confident in your ability to do them. Once you push past your fears, they will begin to diminish.

If you're scared to approach someone you like, do it anyway because confident people never let fear stop them from trying.

3. You will feel empowered most days!

Not only will confidence improve the way you look and the way others see you, but it will also have you feeling better emotionally. I've gained a lot of confidence this past year and I feel a lot stronger because of it. While I still have days where I'm sad or days where I struggle, the confidence I have that I will get through it makes it happen much faster.

Feeling good about yourself is crucial to your happiness. So, stop procrastinating the hard work of falling in love with yourself and decide to stop seeing yourself in a negative light.

4. People will notice!

Being confident will change your own personal life, but it will also change the way everyone around you sees you. We are the energy we give off. Good things will start coming into your life if the energy that you are exuding is positive. Better people will be attracted to you and your confidence will be something everyone notices.

I didn't even realize how confident I had become until my friends started pointing out the way they could tell I had become a much happier person. Don't let your smiles be fake and don't walk around with a slouch when it only takes slow, little changes to make a big difference in your overall life!

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