Warning: this poem contains references to anxiety and depression, and may disturb some readers. Discretion is advised.
I wish I could tell you
That I understand what you feel—
Like the world around you
Isn't listening, doesn't care,
Or a combination of both.
I also wish I could tell you
That the world around you
Won't change suddenly
To accept your black t-shirts, your black eyeliner,
Your symphonic metal that no one's heard of,
And your shuffling Tarot cards in class
To prove a point—
And that's okay.
This is proof that
You were not meant to fit in;
I wish I could tell you
And have you believe
How much of a radiant gem you are.
You were meant to
Run across the earth
And soak in information and experiences
Like the girls on reality TV
Soaked up UV radiation on the beach.
(By the way,
I'm glad you embraced
Your porcelain complexion;
People still think I'm eighteen.)
I wish I could tell you
That one day,
People will value
How you see beauty
In what some people would see
As strange, even dark—
Never lose that.
I wish I could tell you
That guys in high school
Will not give you
What you want
(Someone just like you,
Who values learning
And exploring the world,
And longs to discuss ideas—
Not people or events).
I wish I could tell you
That having someone to talk to
Can help the pain you feel,
But it won't make your problems
Go away.
I wish I could tell you
That despite your feelings otherwise,
It will get better.
I know the world around you
Is a dark place now,
And the demon within
That drags you down
Into loneliness and anxiety
Is hard to shake off,
But the effort to work with it
And the bravery to break free
From How-Things-Ought-To-Be
And Who-You-Should-Become
Is worth the sacrifices.
You were meant to
Pour your heart onto paper
Like ink ran through your veins.
You were meant to
Shatter every box and pigeonhole
That people tried to stuff you into.
You were meant to
Rise in a glorious flame
Like the amazing phoenix you are
And show the world
What you want of life
With neither hesitation
Nor apology.
I wish I could tell you
That your posturing as a badass
With your all-black clothes
And desire to learn martial arts
Only throws in people's faces
What they already know.
Your strength is a quiet one,
Meant to create, not tear down,
And that is even more powerful
Than what some people can imagine.
I wish I could tell you
No experience is a waste of time.
I wish I could tell you
Not to hide that beautiful spirit
That sees infinite joy in the smallest things.
I wish I could tell you
That those who really matter
Won't ask you to change who you are.
I wish I could tell you—
I wish I could tell you—
I wish I could tell you—
I wish I could tell you
That no matter what happens,
It will all work out,
And I love you.
