Just as winter break started, I was privy to a rose-induced conversation that would unfold a particularly positive and unique mindset to have this year: be ballsy as hell and take no prisoners.

To elaborate, this was specifically in reference to the dog-eat-dog (if you’re lucky, someone’s eating someone) world of dating. Another stroke of genius from my formerly-panther-now-just-a-small-town-girl-living-in-a-lonely-world best friend. Months since her last cosmic glory of advice, when she squared up her shoulders, cocked her eyebrows and ever so slightly started a devious (though I would soon find out, seemingly indifferent) grin, I knew that I was about to hear something that was halfway between a sermon and a therapy session.

Friends, you see, are cheaper than therapists, and less-judgy than priests. Plus, when was the last time anyone had a lively conversation in confession?

Another friend of ours was having a particularly frustrating situation with a boy. How unique of a story, right? Well, there’s a reason there are so many rom-coms — they’re relatable. That’s the beauty of the story. There’s such a simplicity to it, however, most romantic comedies have a budget of about 30 million dollars. Sex in the City 2, however, had a budget of over 100 million.

And my friend, the one with the love-guru and life advice, she was not about to let this become Sex in the City 2. We’re more of a Cheetah Girls type group anyways. The basic plotline is like so many others, “I like him, I think he likes me, but I don’t know and no one will say anything.”

If I had a nickel for every time I’ve said this in my first semester of college I would be able to pay for that semester and then have some change leftover to buy an egregious amount of bubble gum that's sole purpose would be sexual allure—an aesthetic that, while dated, is still incredibly efficient, albeit difficult.

The advice was simple: make the conflict known, put the ball in the guy’s court, and don’t wait around for two months for him to answer. If he does, great. If he doesn’t, on to the next mensch. It wasn’t an entirely satisfying answer to the question that was about to be posted. Sitting around and waiting for months for an answer?

Oh, how terrible. No.That’s not what you’re going to be doing, she said. Instead, it wasn’t waiting at all. It was putting the ball in someone else’s court and then leaving the game.

Though maybe basketball isn’t the right analogy for this context, instead let’s use balls of the heavier variety. Bowling anybody? All right, let’s say all of your relationships are defined by a game of bowling. In a successful game, everybody plays their turn and even if you’re playing horribly and miserably, the game has forward motion and you proceed together.

But if the other party doesn’t step up to bat, sorry, bowl, then your game comes to a complete and utter stop.

Meanwhile, the other games around you whether strikes or only knocking down pins are still going. This enrages you because success or not, at least these other games have mobility. Meanwhile, yours could be locked in stalemate f o r e v e r.

The conclusion is simple. Walk away. Give zero fucks. And even if you give some, pretend you don’t. The eventuality is that if you give that situation less attention, it will inevitably become less important and a less harrowing part of your life as a result. Time continues to move forward and you can’t be stuck in the same perpetual game wearing someone else’s shoes and snacking on lukewarm stale nachos. That’s not a fun lifestyle. Okay, it might be a fun lifestyle, but it’s not a productive one.

Text the guy. Ask if him out. Tell him. If he responds, great! If not, you have your answer, and on to the next game. It might feel hard at first. It certainly doesn’t feel pleasant to “discard” what you were hoping was going to be a meaningful relationship, but the truth is YOU are your most meaningful relationship and if you can build that up by being a badass and not waiting around for other people to make up their minds, you’re going to make that relationship a lot stronger.

So do it. I dare you. Make a strike. And walk away.