When you’re a child you go up to another boy/girl and ask if they want to play with your Legos. Instantly, you become friends. It's an automatic friendship that was so easy to attain. In high school, you're involved in sports or a club with students with similar interests. You're able to make friends in these groups because you instantly have something in common. When it comes to college, young adults are more free birds. They'll go to a frat party, join an a cappella group, or rush a sorority. Usually in college a friendship is made over a red solo cup. It all seemed so simple. Well to me, at least.
When you're young and single you usually meet other single people. Usually it starts off with flirting over a glass of wine or a beer. However, this wasn’t a friendship either. It was the way to have a little fun while you’re young - meeting different people and making your contact list in your phone larger just to increase your self-esteem.
But what happens after college? When you have a full time job, you move to a totally new place and know no one. How is it possible to make a friend when you get out of work late, and hang out with your cats on the weekends? It has seemed to be so difficult to make friends as a working adult.
Recently I joined the local theater and the people I've met are all so nice. When we're on stage or backstage they were all very friendly. What happens when you're brought back to reality? You get back to your 40 hour work week, kids at home, or cleaning your house. When will an invitation come your way? Do I have to wear my underwear on my head and cluck like a chicken three times? It seems as if I have to do some crazy ritual in order to get into a group of friends.
I have been friends with the same wonderful group of people since 8th grade. I love them to death. But when you live hundreds of miles away it’s kind of hard to hang out with them. I miss our karaoke outings, bar shenanigans and most of all our at home gatherings that included fun, games and laughter. We would spend hours into the night at someone’s house watching movies, conversing and playing fun games that would usually make us laugh for hours on end. I miss those days a lot, especially now.
How do you go up to an adult and say “will you be my best friend?” Literally, they will probably look at you all crazy. When the only form of communication is Facebook how can you ask a person to hangout? No, I am not trying to flirt with you or go on a date. I have a fiancé. Why can’t two people just be platonic friends? It almost feels like I am pulling teeth.
I am not a criminal; I am actually a very nice person. Why can’t someone give me the time of day to get to know me? I may be shy and quiet but I am fun to be around when a conversation comes about. All I am looking for is someone to confide in, someone to have those late night laughs with. Is that so hard?
I may be overthinking it but honestly it has come to an upsetting realization that making friends is a lot harder than I thought. A feeling of belonging, someone to tell all your secrets to. Just that group of people to go out and have a good time with. I want the friendship that will last a lifetime.
