It's all about timing, isn't it?
The person you want doesn't want you. It's the most twisted love story of all time — but how is that considered a love story? What about a love story where the love is on both ends, but it just can't be?
You're happy. You're actually so happy because the person you care about feels the same back. They want you just as bad as you want them. So why can't it be? Who gets blamed? Timing.
I have been there. They say "do whatever makes you happy," and that is something I've been told more times in my life than most people I know. Find your happiness. Find what makes you smile, laugh, giddy. They never tell you the downfalls of finding that happiness, though.
Because sometimes, the happiness you grasp just isn't allowed.
The person who you share this connection with is not in your reach. Yes, you can touch them. And you do. You can contact at any time and get a response. If you need reassurance, they'll give it. They will never hesitate to tell you how amazing they think you look or the little specific details that drive them crazy (in a good way) about you. But, why can't it be?
They're spoken for.
It's the story of every high school relationship that we all know. We are crazy about the person we know we can't have. Then, once they admit that they feel mutual, the craziness subsides and you feel like you won. You're not crazy; everything you're feeling is real. There is always a reason as to why you feel what you feel. Always. If someone makes you feel, let them. If someone makes you feel, do not try to stop it. Any feeling you attempt to bury just comes back tenfold when it resurfaces.
You're their dirty little secret. But it's not OK anymore.
We find it so easy to accept the fact that we just meet people at "the wrong time." Think of it this way, though — the people we tell ourselves we meet at the wrong time are too often just the wrong people.
A time has to come when you stop answering the phone calls and FaceTimes or you stop giving in every time they need you to be something for them. Whether it be flirty or an ear to listen, someone who cares about them will tell them how they're so amazing and so worth it. Why should you give this person that if they can't give you it back at any second you might need it? Sure, if it makes you happy, it can't be that bad. We know. I know. But how far is too far? Soon enough, you will start to realize this bigger picture, and it will make you feel so terrible about yourself when the only one who should be blamed is them.
You do not deserve to be someone's "sometimes." Someone wants to make you their "always."
When it's a guy who is in a relationship and finds himself emotionally invested somewhere else as well, it's automatically the "other woman's" fault. Not the guy. It just goes down as a mistake, a weak moment, a regret.
News flash: it is not a regret if it happens more than once.
On the flip side, if it's a girl in a relationship, then it's just the girl being a sl*t. She's trying to get attention from every guy she can, and she's taking it.
What people do not see is the 'outside' person knows it's wrong. They knew it the first moment, but they are stuck. They fell for the trap of the sweet nothings that were said to them and the "you're different, no one has ever made me feel like this" that the unreachable person feeds them. They are emotionally invested, they are following their heart, they are following what makes them happy, even if it's once a week in a dark car or it's once every eight months in a town neither of you live in, flying down the parkway to get away from your realities. You cannot blame them for not being a sociopath and having feelings they can't control. They do not hold all the guilt and blame. It takes two.
The point I'm trying to make here is simple: if it makes you happy, I'll be the first to say go for it. Run with it.
But, there will come a time where you're tired of running with it, and you realize that you are just a small percentage of the issues in the relationship that the person you care about cannot seem to get out of.
You might be their escape or their guilty pleasure, and I'm sure they can't quit you either; I'm not doubting that theirs is a true connection. They will realize the reality of it soon enough, but you're not getting a wage by waiting for them. So why bother?
Is it really considered breaking up a happy home if the foundation was already crumbling and you just shook a couple more stones?