I will grow up to be an astronaut, a scientist, a radio operator, a doctor, an FBI agent, a starfish, a jelly bean, a water bear, a human contortionist, a nun, maybe? Maybe not? I really haven’t decided, but I’ve learned adults refuse the answer “I don’t know” to the question “What do you want to be?” “Surely”, they retort, “You must have some idea. When I was your age…” It makes sense; they need to see the culture moving forward--striving towards careers that boost the economy, and remake America. They’re looking to make America great again so when I say, I don’t know what I want to be, I dishearten their spirits. I become just another aimless millennial, complete with a lack of work ethic and sense of entitlement. To them, I am the reason America is failing. It’s a pretty tricky situation, they don’t understand my plight, that I’m caught in the cross hairs of desire and duty, of confusion and clarity. They only see America struggling, and no one stepping up to the plate. They’re left feeling stressed for the future generation, and I’m left feeling frustrated and confused.

I’m sure I’m not alone. In fact, I know I’m not alone. According to The University of La Verne, half of students start college undeclared, and 50 to 70 percent of students change their major more than once, and of those who graduate, more than 50 percent choose careers unrelated to their major. Unfortunately, these statistics are not reflected in the questions college students, or high school students, or any young people really, are being asked. So what gives?

It’s always bothered me that at eighteen, a junior in college, I’m expected to know what I want to do for the next sixty years of my life. It’s just not possible. I have dreams and passions and aspirations, sure, but I don’t have the cognitive ability to project eighteen year old self onto my eighty year old self and declare a job. I don’t think anybody does, really. Where does that leave me and 70% of college students who are just as confused as I am?

It leaves us with ourselves. Our body, while growing and changing to reflect different seasons in our lives, is the only constant we can fully rely on as it is the entity which carries us through life. It bears our wounds and scars, our triumphs and victories. It houses our mind, and employs itself to our every need. Through it, we present ourselves to the world. Those who know us recognize us by our body, not our career. It makes more sense that at 18, I should be more worried about my body than my career. Still, that does not always justify a non answer to the question, “What do you want to be?” unless of course, the answer lies not in a career, but in a personhood.

I want to be a person with dignity, and honor, and respect. I want to be a person who is remembered for their character, their ambition, their spirit for life. I want my body to reflect those things. I want to be healthy, strong, confident, even. I want to strive for greatness wherever that may lead me. My goal in life is not to have a perfect career, or decide, right now, that I am planning on being an FBI agent, or a nun, or a primary school teacher, but rather, it is to harness the qualities which endear a person to society. It is to be the best person I can be, which, ultimately, is more productive than being a dentist or scientist or novelist.