I am a 21-year-old girl who has never had a legitimate boyfriend. Shocking? Maybe. If you knew me? Probably not. Here are a few reasons why I’m probably never going to be a datable individual.
1. I never respond to texts.
Or calls, or emails, or face-to-face conversations. I think my brain just didn’t develop the skills of communication and now I never will.
2. Human affection makes me ill.
Don’t hug me. Don’t touch me. Don’t even look at me.
3. I like being alone.
4.I get sick of people easily.
How am I ever going to put up with one person for the rest of my life?
5. I can’t dance.
Like a horse on ice skates. (I also cant ice skate.)
6. I will not share my fries.
Or my shake. So don’t even bother trying to be cute.
7. My hands get sweaty.
I know this one is gross, but we have to be realistic here. Do you really want to be slipping and sliding our way through life?
8. I don’t do fun things.
My hobbies include Netflix, homework, eating, and absolutely nothing else.
9. I may accidentally ignore you for a couple days, or weeks, or months.
I don’t mean to do it, it just kinda happens. But know that I feel bad.
10. My expectations are very, very high.
You better be ready to climb boy.
11. I don’t have time.
Maybe I am actually too busy living my best life, maybe this is an excuse, who knows…
12. No one understands my terrible sense of humor.
It hides all my deep dark feelings.
Life is more about the relationship you're in (or not in). I hope someday there will be someone how will put up with my unresponsive, uncoordinated, awkward self. But for right now, I'm doing just fine living my very, very single life.