In recent pop culture, the term “gay best friend” has become more popular. People like to use it in the sense of referring to a friend who is of the gender they prefer sexually, but the friend's sexual orientation is of their own gender. This term is most often used when a girl is referring to their male gay friend.

I’m going to tell you why this is wrong.

When a girl refers to someone as their best friend who is of the opposite gender who is straight, you wouldn’t title them as your “straight best friend”. More than likely, the introduction would be something like, “he is my best friend, he’s is like a brother to me.” Or “this is my best friend, we don’t like LIKE each other.” So why is it that we find ourselves calling out our friends as gay before you get to the “best friend” part?

Does being a gay best friend have a separate category? Would being gay change the friendship the two of you have? In many cases, the reasoning behind claiming someone as their gay best friend is because they have someone of the same sex as their first best friend. So, when you throw on the “gay” beginning, basically you’re saying that this person is a great friend of yours, but someone comes before them.

It’s a sneaky way to call more than one person your best friend without hurting anyone's feeling. So your gay best friend isn’t actually your best friend, nor your gay best friend, they’re just your friend, and their sexuality has nothing to do with their platonic relationship with you (other than the fact that they think you’re a cool human being that won’t jump their bones).

Not only does calling someone your "gay best friend" demote them, but it reinforces stereotypes. When using this title, years of progressing towards a more accepting and cultured society is damaged. So you're doing more harm than good, and not to mention probably offending the person you're introducing.

To truly be a best friend to someone would make you the first in line of that person's trust, secrets and heart.

So no, you’re not my “gay best friend." Because nothing about your sexuality plays a role in why I love and cherish our friendship.