As I sit in my bed at home, I can’t stop crying. My dog has had cancer for awhile now, but it seemed to rarely being affecting her. Sure, she had some bad days but they were easily fixed when she was given her medicine. Recently though, she began to take a turn for the worse. She was constantly throwing up, she couldn’t eat even though she wanted too. She could barely open her mouth without the pain being too much. But, still she kept fighting; forcing her mouth to open slightly so she could lap up some water to keep her going for the day. And then she would pick a cold spot on the tile floor, and stay there almost the whole day.

I’ve had my puppy since the 5th grade. She was my present, and I named her Lily. And she was the sweetest Rottweiler, who could be a great guard dog when she really sensed something wrong; but mostly, she just licked our guests to death. She was the happiest dog I have ever seen. When my sister and I, or my mom, came home from work, her little nub tail would start wagging so fast she would basically skip over to the door to see us, and her face formed a smile. She was one of the only dogs I had ever seen whose face actually resembled a human smile when she was happy.

Even though she was sick many years before she passed this last weekend, you really couldn’t even tell. She loved nothing more than to be taken on long walks, be pampered in the bath and getting her fur dried with the blow dryer, and then earning a great big bone filled with peanut butter. Two years ago, she gained a friend when I begged my mom for another puppy. They got off to a rough start when Jade was really little, but soon enough they tolerated each other, and then finally, became a team. Dedicated to bringing smiles to my family's faces, and maybe make us lose our minds a little too.

You see, Jade was the troublemaker. When she was left alone too long, she tore everything to shreds. Whatever she could get her tiny paws on would soon be chewed into tiny pieces and scattered around the main floor of our house. She simply just wanted to play. Lily played with her when she felt like it to keep the younger pup busy, but Lily was already 8 by the time Jade turned 1; so she was getting a little beat and tired of tug-of-war and play fighting. But she still did it for as long as she could. Until, she got too sick.

On Halloween of this year, my mom woke me up early in the morning to tell me that she had to take Lily to go get put down. Lily was up the whole night before crying and whimpering from the pain she felt from her bone cancer, and the tumor that made its way into her chest that was nearing her throat. It just wasn’t fair. Lily deserved a longer life than what she got, but at least we know we gave her the happiest life we could.

Jade just hasn’t been the same since. She hasn’t torn or destroyed anything. She won’t even leave her spot on the couch. My sister caught her gazing at the spot of where Lily’s food and water bowls used to be. The first day, we didn’t think Jade knew what had happened. But, now we think she understands. Our youngest and now last pup, mirrors the faces of the rest of our family. Sad and heartbroken, and missing one of our own.