Two summers I took a LEAP...

Being a math major, I decided to be a Computer Science minor. I loved computers and I had a serious investment in learning a new language that is Computer Science. So, I took the first class in the sequence in Spring 2017. The language I learned was Python. Long story short, I put a LOT of effort in the class and got an average grade. I felt cheated, but I dealt with it. I learned a lot and I couldn't complain too much.

Fast forward.

Fall 2017. Next class. The language in this course was C++. This is a language with similar logic to Python but just like English/Spanish have similarities and linguistic logic, they are distinct and have more differences than things in common.

It's been a total of 4 weeks in this class. And each day I worked ridiculously hard on each assignment, quiz and group assignment that was given. Our first homework was graded, and I got a 50% because I included a "." and an extra "the" in the assignment. Ridiculous. Hurricane Harvey did a decent job of compressing material into an uncomfortable amount of time which I attempted to catch up on, but you cannot fit a square peg in a round hole and I was an awkward square peg.

Outside of the class, and outside of spending 6 hours every day on an assignment debugging code and on stackoverflow.com finding hints and help - I was NOT happy. I went to the point of not working a job to dedicate time for this class. I was MISERABLE. I had the constant pressure of code to write that I hardly understood. I was CONSTANTLY worried about due dates of assignments overlapping due dates for a group assignment and quiz, overlapping the exam on top of how grades will be graded. I didn't enjoy life. I was... just too anxious. I don't think I smiled willingly once when working on the material. I dreaded the lecture which was unorganized and disheveled. I did not feel like I was myself at all.

I dropped.

I can breathe now.

Why did I drop? I was sacrificing my happiness for a course. I wasn't doing anything I love to do like play chess, read a book, workout, and meal prep for school - anxiety made sure of this.

Do you yourself a favor and do not stick around in a pool of unhappiness for anything whether that be a person, place, job, or class. What begins to happen is you sacrifice unnecessary things - your sleep, time to be social, mental and emotional health and your hobbies. You become a dangerous subset of your real self and for what? A grade? Validation a person gives you? A paycheck you can get somewhere else? Explore your options and make smart decisions.

Am I saying quit your job, move out, and live off-the-grid in the Montana Wilderness with no income or source of nourishment? Am I saying leave your relationship/friendship because they do something you don't agree with or see as morally okay? No. What I am saying is figure out what makes you happy and fight for it, but when the effort does not equal the result... you may have some rethinking to do. Whatever the consensus is, make the BEST decision for yourself. It might be the beginning of a wonderful opportunity.