There is one constant and underrated struggle in our lives that we all face, but no one seems to really talk about. There are people that we love and choose to surround ourselves with - people that make us happy. Yet, there are people that love us and want to be surrounded by us, but they may make us very unhappy. No matter how hard we try to convince ourselves that these people might not be as bad as they seem, if their presence does not bring happiness and fulfillment to your own life, it is time to let them go.
Growing up, I was always told that I was a people pleaser. In my eyes, I never really saw myself that way. I preferred to think of myself as someone who was simply inclusive. There have been so many moments in my life where I have longed to be included, but instead I was easily ignored. I was pushed to the side by people I strived to be like - people I admired. When the time finally came where I encountered people who wanted to be by my side, my last instinct was to push them away. I believed in giving everyone a fair chance at friendship, and I developed the mentality of, "the more friends I have, the better."
Let me tell you, "the more friends I have, the better," is nothing but a toxic mentality. Since I started college, I have seen my friendships with people fluctuate constantly. As I started to become more independent in my thinking and actions, I have gotten some pretty critical reactions from people that I once thought cared about me as much as I did them. It has not been until recent that I've really started to see some of my "friends" true colors come to the surface as I work on self-improvement and growth, and that is when it hit me - these "friends" of mine have not grown at all. Instead of working to improve themselves and make their own lives more fulfilling, it is easier for them to spend their time tearing me down. It is now that I realize they can no longer be a part of my life.
I truly believe that people are brought into our lives for a reason. Whether they are permanent or temporary, each person and the relationships we form with them teach us a lesson. This week in particular, I was beginning to feel very tested by a few people that I have considered friends in the past. It is no secret to them that I am not the same person I was when we first met, but I am proud of the personal changes I am making to enhance my happiness and overall well-being. It has been a challenging week in terms of realizing that these people are not quite there yet in their own lives, and needless to say they are not very happy with me because I have not stayed stagnant with them. This week, I walked away from these friendships with poise, and I could not be happier.
If a person is truly your friend, they will stand by your side in support of your choices. They will never pressure you to change who you are to satisfy their own agendas. A true friend will never put you down or manipulate you into feeling like your self-improvement counts for nothing. If they do, you have every right to walk away from them. Just because other people might want you in their life because you make them happy, does not mean you have to reciprocate if the feeling is not mutual. You should never feel guilty or ashamed from walking away from people who do not have your best interest at heart.