I have a rule about all my relationships: fall half in love with everyone I hold dear in my life. What do I mean by that? I mean exactly what I’m saying. All the relationships in your life, every family member and friend should be someone you find yourself romancing in some way. No relationship should be held out of obligation, routine, or social expectation.

If you feel your relationships are any of the above, I advice you to choose one of two paths. Rekindle, rebuilt, and reestablish your relationship with these people. Learn to love them and learn to romance them. Court them until you find yourself in disbelief that you ever felt anything less for this person.

The other option is letting them go if you don't feel like romancing them because someone out there will and they will love ever second of them. The same way you shouldn't hold on to a bad significant other, I don't recommend for friends or even family members. Do not allow someone to treat you poorly or for yourself to treat someone else poorly whom you loved once upon a time.

People hold their significant others, their lovers, their partners, and their spouse above all other relationships. I see this as the biggest mistake in the human experience.

If I say the word “romance” what do you think about? Do you think about kissing, flowers, and cuddles? Because I sure do.

Sometimes I’m thinking about those things and I’m not thinking about my significant other. I’m thinking about how I should buy my friend a bundle of roses because she loves flowers and I want to see her smile. I see a CD in the middle of Target and I buy it because I know my friend loves that band. It’s taking my siblings to the zoo because I know they'd enjoy that.

It’s asking my mom out on a dinner date, not to thank her, but because she amazes me at every turn. I want you to do kind things for these people not because it's their birthday, a holiday, or out of gratitude. I want you do want it and I want you to do out of nothing more than a desire to express your love. Be romantic for no good reason.

Lots of you probably already do this with the people in your life, but I’m asking you to be okay calling it romance. Romance holds no sexual connotations. It’s a word to describe affections, infatuation, and adoration you hold for someone. Why should we reserve it for our partners?

The answer is that we shouldn't. Subconsciously, we don’t. I see friends and families with overflowing love. The moment I try to call it romance though, I watch the bodies retract and the excuses spill out. No one likes that word, and I get it.

We see it on the TV shows, the movie screens, in the pages of our favorite books. People who find themselves seeking some ultimate romance, demanding they fall in love, everyone around them telling them they’ll understand when it happens to them. We watch these characters become obsessed with their lovers putting each other up on pedestals, and telling each other they are the only one who matters. This idealized love is exactly why people lose touch with friends or grow distant with family. We've narrowed the idea of romance. We drained the waters.

I hear about it all the time from people I know. I see it just as often. A person so consumed and content with their partner forgets they have friends and family who also enjoy their time. The unraveling of relationships because the obsessiveness in partnership is seen as romantic.

There is nothing romantic about making one person your world. It is unhealthy. Regardless of how well they treat you. How connected you feel to one another, you should not allow one relationship to dominate you. You miss out on so many other connections that way. Your partner can be your best friend, they can be someone you tell all your secrets to, they can be your favorite person. But they cannot be your only person. They should not be your only romance.

When you look at your friends and family, I want you to tell me what exactly you love about them. Do you know them? Do they make you happy with just one thought? They should.

If they don’t, why don’t you reach out? Allow yourself the opportunity to love and be loved. Figure out why you found yourself with them in the first place. Maybe you always knew subconsciously, but I challenge you to be aware of why you love them.

Write these people love poems, make them playlists, buy them chocolates, cuddle them on the couch, hold their hands in public, and make romance platonic. Don’t just fall in love once. Fall in love every time you let someone into your life.