You’ve found yourself in a sticky situation, yet again. You have to pull the “It’s really not you it’s me”, like some jerk out of your favorite RomCom. You mean it when you say it though; you’re not trying to hurt anyone. You lost yourself in loving someone else too much. You forgot how your own pure happiness felt, that YOU created. You depended on everyone else to make you feel good about yourself or your life. You stopped believing the compliments and focused on what was wrong with you. Then one day you woke up. You woke up and realized,” if I can’t love myself, who ever could?" This is not to be taken as a “Wow no one will ever love me”, because they do and they will. The point is, if you aren’t happy with the type of person you are, then what the hell are you doing with your life girl?
You need your self-confidence back
As a female, I think this is the hardest to deal with. You probably depended on some dude at the time to tell you how attractive you were. It’s not like you believed him anyways. You tell yourself that you wish you could see what everyone else sees. Now is the time. In the words of MadTV "Own that pony tail, work that updo." Whatever your focus may be, whether that’s getting back into the gym, taking care of your health more or just straight up being confident enough to walk around your house naked. It’ll come with time. Getting your self-confidence is more than just looking at yourself in the mirror differently. It is your mind's ability to know that you can take on anything because YOU are awesome and you need to realize that.
You need to learn what makes you tick
I swear every interview I’ve ever been in: “So what are your hobbies?” News flash, your boyfriend isn’t an appropriate answer. Make sure to make time for yourself. Get out there and figure out what you’re passionate about, whether that’s hanging out with your friends at the local pub, joining exercise classes, or traveling by yourself. Do it and do it right now. Your life is way too short. Do not waste time unhappy. You can create your own happiness; it just takes some time to figure out what will get you there.
Loneliness is an ugly feeling
I’m not trying to be a negative person when I say this but as someone who has been there, people might leave you. No I’m not saying that every relationship you have will end. I’m saying that you will be alone time to time and if you can’t be happy alone, you’re going to feel completely hopeless. Loneliness takes people into some dark places, you try to fill a void with someone else or some horrible habit to keep you distracted from what the real problem is; you don’t know how to be alone. Once you learn to actually love YOURSELF, you won’t have to worry about that scary place. You will be content by yourself because you are good company.
You’re all you’ve got
Personally, I had a tough time understanding this part of the process. You have to learn to be proud of the person that you are. You have to learn to inspire yourself to be the best version of you. You have to want to take control of your own life. My wish is for you to wake up each day and know that you are worth so much more. You deserve the best in life and damn it you’re going to go out there and get it. Have the confidence to take on whatever life may throw at you. Have the passion to engage yourself in life and find out what makes you happy. Learn that you are your own person and no one can take that away from you. At the end of the day, you are who you are and you must love yourself first.
