I write because it is both equally comforting and challenging.
I am someone who lets my emotions take over me. While most may see this as a bad thing, I have come to terms with this because it is who I am. I could tell you all about why I believe “emotional people” actually carry a great strength; however, that’s for another time and journal.
Writing is a tool I have been using for myself for a while. Being emotional means I have several thoughts that I wish I could share. Unfortunately, I can have so many thoughts and feelings at once that I began to confuse even myself as to why it is I am feeling what I am feeling. Writing helps me think through my thoughts when I have a billion and one things running through my mind. By writing my thoughts, whether it is a list of homework due to school stress or an entry about why I am upset, I am able to see everything all laid out. It is no longer a great amount of stress in my head that I have no idea how to handle. Writing does not solely provide me with comfort just because it allows me to get everything out, it allows me to see that what I am feeling is real. When I am able to recognize that my feelings are real is when I can then come up with a plan to help myself overcome my school stress or my heavy heart.
While there is a reassurance that comes with writing, so too does a challenge. Since I let my feelings overcome me, I overanalyze everything. Every. Little. Detail. I worry about what everyone thinks of me. Do they like my clothes, my hair, etc. I even worry about whether people will judge me for my emotions, and I try to compensate to help ease the judgement. However, I believe that is one more reason why I push myself to not just write, but to share. The more I put myself out there, the more comfortable I will be with who I am; the more I realize how much love and support I truly have. I have so many ideas, some fun and others more meaningful, but whenever I start writing a piece I worry if I will offend someone else. How might I do this? I have no idea, but I worry about it. Constantly. However, I believe the more I write, the more comfortable I will become with it, and it will become more helpful for myself.
So yes, I write and I share. Yes, I share so that others can read as they please. Yes, I write in the hopes that somehow a few of my writings can be helpful to even a few who may struggle with the same things I do or did. On the other hand, I write and share for me. I share so that one day I can easily look back and see how I did something that may have been hard. I write because it gives me power. Writing gives me the power back that my emotions can otherwise take away from me. With great emotion comes great power, and when I write I can see that and make a plan of attack to overcome my pains and take a step in the right direction, even if it is small, in my life.