Why I Will Tell My Children To Wait Until Marriage

Why I Will Tell My Children To Wait Until Marriage

Abstinence isn't just a religious thing.
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Having grown up in the Bible Belt, I was an avid church goer as a child. Both the church and my parents preached at me that "abstinence is key." They always just said that you shouldn't do anything with someone before you're married because it is just the right thing to do. I always heard that it was just frowned upon, I didn't know that it could be devastating in the future.

Many of us don't wait until marriage. In today's society, abstinence isn't exactly the top priority of our generation. Personally, I didn't wait and fell into the demographic of being "normal." I thought maybe I could find love. I believe most girls convince themselves they can marry just about anyone down the road because it helps us accept what we do. When you are doing what everyone around you seems to be doing, it makes it feel as though it isn't as "wrong" as you thought it was when you are growing up.

Until I met the love of my life, that was my mindset. It wasn't necessarily wrong and it didn't impact anyone other than myself. It turns out I was very wrong. After numerous liars and jerks, I finally found the man that I have always wanted. The guy who gives us that dream that we all have as little girls, but gave up on as we grew older. Neither of us waited until marriage, and neither of us thought of each other. We didn't know each other until we started dating, but we didn't think of the one that we would one day marry. I never knew how someone's past could devastate me. I struggle daily with insecurities and comparisons to the girls he has been with. I don't want to, but I can't help it. I know that he feels the same way about my past. It causes distrust in a society where distrust is already easy enough to have. I never wanted to be that girl that compared myself to others, but it's hard not to think about the other girls and if they were better or if he still thinks about them.

This is why I will tell my children to wait. Not just because God says so, but because it does involve someone other than themselves. It hurts the one they end up marrying. It hurts them later in life. I want my children to do their part of not instilling this lack of confidence that I find myself struggling with. Maybe we can raise our children to be a generation where sex isn't just sex, and it means something again. If abstinence isn't appealing to you because of God, maybe it can appeal to you when you think of that dream guy or girl. Wait for him. Wait for her. Wait for yourself.


Cover Image Credit: Pinterest

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To The Girl Struggling With Her Body Image

It's not about the size of your jeans, but the size of your heart, soul, and spirit.

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To the girl struggling with her body image,

You are more than the number on the scale. You are more than the number on your jeans and dresses. You are way more than the number of pounds you've gained or lost in whatever amount of time.

Weight is defined as the quantity of matter contained by a body or object. Weight does not define your self-worth, ambition or potential.

So many girls strive for validation through the various numbers associated with body image and it's really so sad seeing such beautiful, incredible women become discouraged over a few numbers that don't measure anything of true significance.

Yes, it is important to live a healthy lifestyle. Yes, it is important to take care of yourself. However, taking care of yourself includes your mental health as well. Neglecting either your mental or physical health will inflict problems on the other. It's very easy to get caught up in the idea that you're too heavy or too thin, which results in you possibly mistreating your body in some way.

Your body is your special, beautiful temple. It harbors all of your thoughts, feelings, characteristics, and ideas. Without it, you wouldn't be you. If you so wish to change it in a healthy way, then, by all means, go ahead. With that being said, don't make changes to impress or please someone else. You are the only person who is in charge of your body. No one else has the right to tell you whether or not your body is good enough. If you don't satisfy their standards, then you don't need that sort of negative influence in your life. That sort of manipulation and control is extremely unhealthy in its own regard.

Do not hold back on things you love or want to do because of how you interpret your body. You are enough. You are more than enough. You are more than your exterior. You are your inner being, your spirit. A smile and confidence are the most beautiful things you can wear.

It's not about the size of your jeans. It's about the size of your mind and heart. Embrace your body, observe and adore every curve, bone and stretch mark. Wear what makes you feel happy and comfortable in your own skin. Do your hair and makeup (or don't do either) to your heart's desire. Wear the crop top you've been eyeing up in that store window. Want a bikini body? Put a bikini on your body, simple.

So, as hard as it may seem sometimes, understand that the number on the scale doesn't measure the amount or significance of your contributions to this world. Just because that dress doesn't fit you like you had hoped doesn't mean that you're any less of a person.

Love your body, and your body will love you right back.

Cover Image Credit: Lauren Margliotti

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To The Friend I Rarely See Anymore

I wish you nothing but the best.

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When we graduated high school, we thought it was the end for us. The distance would ruin us and we wouldn't be able to call ourselves friends. Thankfully, you were my rock for the first year of school. You were the one I turned to when the adjustment was hard or when I needed someone to talk to and just listen. We never lost our connection for a whole year. We proved that nothing could pull us apart no matter how far the distance, no matter the different schedules. We were still best friends.

Another summer came and we only got stronger. We went on countless beach trips, late night hangouts, and Starbucks runs. I didn't even think it was possible to be this much closer to you than we already were. If we weren't together, we would Snapchat or text to never stop the conversation.

Now summer ended, we didn't think twice about losing our connection this time. We had a bond stronger than anyone could fathom. We once again went our separate ways and kept our texting and Snapchat habits.

But something changed.

It must've been the comfort level of sophomore year. It must've been all the new friends we got. It must have been the boys who entered our lives. We don't speak anymore. I haven't seen you since winter break. I haven't texted you since New Year's Eve. Our connection, one that was once thought to be indestructible, came crumbling down with sophomore year. I am not going to lie, sophomore year was the best of my life, but I knew you were missing the whole time. It wasn't the same without you.

I'm not upset you chose to focus your time and life on your new boyfriend. I am happy for you. I am not upset you spend more time with your school friends. I am happy for you. I am not upset you don't text me anymore and killed our streak. I know you're living a happy life. And I am too.

We may have gone our separate ways like we never imagined, but I am happy you are finally happy. Don't forget for one second that I will always be here for you. I will still always answer your text. I will still always be your shoulder to cry on even when no one else is there for you. I wish you nothing but the best, and I hope you're doing ok.

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