Why We Need Confrontation

Why We Need Confrontation

Face to face. Eye to eye. Let's chat, babe.
11300
views

It's obvious: we don't talk enough.

Or maybe we just don't talk at all. It's gotten to the point where I am completely and utterly getting sick of the middleman. We can't confront our own issues, so we use others as props in the matter. I think that it's the support that matters more than anything, but I for one have fallen under the spell of giving in and giving up when it comes to a lack of open communication.

So maybe this is an open apology to myself, or maybe this is an open apology to everyone I've gotten involved in my own messes to avoid confronting myself. Nevertheless, it's about time to grow up and move on from forgiving and forgetting. Yes, forgive, but you don't have to forget and brush controversial topics under the rug.

I think that it is about time that we start addressing some of the elephants in the room. And I think that it is probably best for everyone involved to continue to do so for the sake of our sanity.

No more 4 AM conversations on balconies about what the next move is in whatever situation we're all in. Let's make it a special pact between all of us to preserve our friendships and relationships --and most importantly ourselves.

I myself am constantly running off and away from my issues. I like to avoid the unavoidable because I feel like that's just always the easy way out. And that's the point --it's the easy way out, but it is the most problematic. I am the master of snowballing things until they get too out of hand.

And that's totally horrible and sloppy. I get it. We all can relate I think.

My biggest fear being people actually finding out how much of a mess I can actually be is slowly and subtly coming to fruition and oddly I am totally fine with it. I am an absolute organized mess and that's totally fine and I am utterly and completely and totally enough for everything, anything, and everyone.

And that realization, for everyone, leads us to bettering ourselves to be able to talk openly about how other people make us feel, and how really anything makes us feel. You are warranted to having emotions and you should be able to be open to talking them through with someone.

I am constantly finding myself frustrated when people can't read my mind, but you can't expect everyone to be your best friend. If you want something then you're going to have to ask for it, and I guess that I am talking to myself more so than anyone else.

Resolutions do not come without confrontations and do not come without an open willingness climb uphill to slide down to the bottom once again. At this point, it's way better than living in an open limbo of walking on eggshells and avoiding awkward argument potential. So for me, I am packing my bags and leaving limbo for solid ground.


Cover Image Credit: Angelina Earley//Flickr

Popular Right Now

PSA: Keep Your Body-Negative Opinions Away From Little Girls This Summer

But our own baggage shouldn't be shoved on to those we surround ourselves with.

46678
views

It's officially swimsuit season, y'all.

The temperature is rising, the sun is bright and shining, and a trip to the beach couldn't look more appealing than it does right now. This is the time of year that many of us have been rather impatiently waiting for. It's also the time of year that a lot of us feel our most self-conscious.

I could take the time to remind you that every body is a bikini body. I could type out how everyone is stunning in their own unique way and that no one should feel the need to conform to a certain standard of beauty to feel beautiful, male or female. I could sit here and tell you that the measurement of your waistline is not a reflection of your worth. I completely believe every single one of these things.

Hell, I've shared these exact thoughts more times than I can count. This time around, however, I'm not going to say all these things. Instead, I'm begging you to push your insecurities to the side and fake some confidence in yourself when you're in front of others.

Why?

Because our negative self-image is toxic and contagious and we're spreading this negative thinking on to others.

We're all guilty of this, we're with family or a friend and we make a nasty comment about some aspect of our appearance, not even giving a single thought to the impact our words have on the person with us. You might think that it shouldn't bother them- after all, we're not saying anything bad about them! We're just expressing our feelings about something we dislike about ourselves. While I agree that having conversations about our insecurities and feelings are important for our mental and emotional health, there is a proper and improper way of doing it. An open conversation can leave room for growth, acceptance, understanding, and healing. Making a rude or disheartening remark about yourself is destructive not only to yourself, but it will make the person you are saying these things around question their own self worth or body image by comparing themselves to you.

My little sister thinks she's "fat." She doesn't like how she looks. To use her own words, she thinks she's "too chubby" and that she "looks bad in everything."

She's 12 years old.

Do you want to know why she has this mindset? As her older sister, I failed in leading her by example. There were plenty of times when I was slightly younger, less sure of myself, and far more self-conscious than I am now, that I would look in the mirror and say that I looked too chubby, that my body didn't look good enough, that I wished I could change the size of my legs or stomach.

My little sister had to see the older sibling she looks up to, the big sis she thinks always looks beautiful, say awful and untrue things about herself because her own sense of body image was warped by media, puberty, and comparing herself to others.

My negativity rubbed off onto her and shaped how she looks at herself. I can just imagine her watching me fret over how I look thinking, "If she thinks she's too big, what does that make me?"

It makes me feel sick.

All of us are dealing with our own insecurities. It takes some of us longer than others to view ourselves in a positive, loving light. We're all working on ourselves every day, whether it be mentally, physically, or emotionally. But our own baggage shouldn't be shoved on to those we surround ourselves with, our struggles and insecurities should not form into their own burdens.

Work on yourself in private. Speak kindly of yourself in front of others. Let your positivity, real or not, spread to others instead of the bad feelings we have a bad habit of letting loose.

The little girls of the world don't need your or my negative self-image this summer. Another kid doesn't need to feel worthless because we couldn't be a little more loving to ourselves and a lot more conscious of what we say out loud.

Related Content

Connect with a generation
of new voices.

We are students, thinkers, influencers, and communities sharing our ideas with the world. Join our platform to create and discover content that actually matters to you.

Learn more Start Creating

The Struggle of Taking Classes During the Summer

It can put a bit of a damper on summer fun

235
views

To everyone reading: I hope you're having a nice, relaxing summer. Even if you're working I hope you can get a few days off to hang out with friends, go to the beach, and have some nice downtime. Not me. I am currently in the process of completing two four-week long summer classes. I'm taking them now to get ahead for next semester and to keep my overall schedule on track. It certainly isn't fun, but the reminder that it is only four weeks is what really keeps me going. If you are in the same boat as me, you'll relate to this list like no one else can; if you're not taking summer classes, don't let this list scare you, but use it to mentally prepare yourself for any you may have in the future.

1. Studying and homework

The homework isn't too bad with some summer classes just because you don't have time for a lot of intense projects. Still, since the class is so short you have to do some kind of homework pretty much every day. Make a schedule and spread it out so you don't get too behind.

2. Actually going to class

I am in two classes. One meets in person every day from 10 am to 11:45 am. The other is online. Let me be the first to say that getting up for class during the normal semesters is hard enough, but knowing my little brother gets to sleep in while I have to wake up early and go class is a real motivation suppressant.

I will say, though, it's kind of nice being on campus when it's basically empty.

3. No going out...

You'll probably be a little down because you might not be able to really go out at all during the time you're in class. For me, I go to lecture every morning, come home and do homework for that class, then do homework for my online class. I have some free time on the weekends, but I try to use those lecture-free days to study or work on papers.

4. But being super busy

Even though you might not be able to go out like a summer off, you'll be keeping yourself busy with all that super fun homework I mentioned.

5. Stress

Yes, summer classes can be a little stressful and it's pretty much all thanks to how fast-paced they are. Just do what I do: make a homework and project schedule as soon as you can and remind yourself how short it is.

Summer classes are not the worst thing in the world, and if you choose to take one at some point it won't be absolutely horrible. The nice thing about them is it's like ripping off a Band-Aid; it may be a little painful and annoying, but it's over so fast you don't suffer. Pick your class and professor wisely and get down to business; taking the class means you're one step closer to graduation!

So, to anyone else taking a summer class: good luck and you got this!

Related Content

Facebook Comments