Why We Can’t Always Get Clean | The Odyssey Online
Start writing a post
Health and Wellness

Why We Can’t Always Get Clean

You know how toxic your relationship is, but you are not ready to let go. And that’s okay.

6
Why We Can’t Always Get Clean

Sometimes, people come into your life only to take. They take your time; they take your heart; they take you for granted; all the while, you are giving them your all. All the while, you are telling yourself that you are just reading into it wrong, that maybe they didn’t mean to say what they said, didn’t mean to do what they did. After all, people are people, and we all make mistakes—especially in the connections we foster with others. Maybe they are just really prone to doing so, we think, so we tell the little voice in our heads and the people whispering around us to stop talking. Everything is fine.

The thing is, people will tell you that you are the one who is making the mistake. They hit you with a chorus of Move on…Let it go. It sounds a whole lot like the tune that has been running through your head this whole time, yet for some reason you can’t listen to any of it. For some reason, the thought of letting go is as dreadful as holding on.

So we find ourselves hating someone when we don’t want to, handing out second chances when we can’t take it anymore, biting our tongues when all we want to do is scream. We pray that one day, they will hear the wakeup call. They will read words similar to these and realize, That’s me. They will realize that there very well may be a day when we stand up, tell them we know they are not sorry, and walk away.

The fact of the matter is, sometimes we just aren't ready to jump ship. We actually have to wait for that “one day,” and we can’t use it as a threat because even we are unsure of when it will come. There is not always an explanation as to why, and there doesn't really need to be one. It's all about a gut-feeling: you know your time with this person is not yet finished. Yes, your friendship/relationship/mentorship/siblingship/what-are-we-ship/whatever-ship is as complicated, entangled, and terrifying a mess as this sentence was to read. The path you are on leads nowhere but straight down. Although we fear the end, constantly bracing for impact, as people we need the crash-and-burn. It is at these moments when lessons often hit the hardest, putting everything into perspective. Surrender prematurely and you risk the reward of any wisdom that may have come from the mental and emotional battery.

Someone makes you feel high, then they make you feel low, and as unhealthy as it is, you can’t for the life of you get clean. It's okay, and there is a simple explanation: if it doesn't feel like the right time, then it isn't.

Getting clean from a toxic relationship can’t be forced. In dealing with others, timing is everything, so don't be afraid to wait it out. To cling to what is left when you want nothing more than to give up, knowing that one day you will do just that, is not the same as to use someone, or to be fake. It is more of a mourning process and a part of human nature. We avoid the unknown. We want security before we run off into darkness, which is not so wrong when what we have now is already dark enough. We need to witness firsthand the unraveling of relationships, to watch the veil lift away and reveal all the good that is left out there waiting for us, before we can accept and welcome an end. It’s only natural.

No matter how many people feel it is their right to pressure you to get out now, all in the name of “protecting you," it is true that when the right time comes, you will not need protecting; you will not need advice; and you will not need to try. Give it time, and you will be clean, just like that.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
university
University of Nebraska at Omaha

Creating your schedule for the upcoming semester can be an exciting process. You have the control to decide if you want to have class two-days a week or five-days a week. You get to check things off of your requirement checklist. It's an opportunity for a fresh start with new classes (which you tell yourself you'll never skip.) This process, which always starts out so optimistic, can get frustrating really quickly. Here are 25 thoughts you have when registering for classes.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

10 Thoughts Of A 5th Year Senior

What about those of us who don't do it all in four years?

557
college shirt
pointsincase.com

"College will be the best four years of your life" is a phrase that we have all heard growing up. College is painted as a magical place to us while we are in high school. A place you go to learn, meet your best friends and probably have the time of your life while all of this is going down. Four whirlwind years, where everything that you've known changes and you start to learn what it means to live on your own, have a job, etc. But what about those of us who don't do this all in four years? Major changes, hard courses, switching schools, career paths changing, these are just a handful of factors that could extend your four years to five, six or seven. There is nothing wrong with taking extra time to graduate, but returning as a fifth-year is a little different. Most of your best friends have most likely graduated and moved and while you may be one of the oldest undergraduates on campus, you might feel as awkward as a freshmen. A world that became home and comfortable to you is still there but it's slightly different than you've known it to be and you have to find a groove to fall into. These are thoughts you'll have as you look ahead to returning to your college campus, with a victory lap planned.

Keep Reading...Show less
Entertainment

11 Times Aubrey Plaza Described Sophomore Year

"I don't want to do things. I want to do not things."

360
Aubrey Plaza
Flickr Creative Commons

Aubrey Plaza is one of my favorite humans in Hollywood. She's honest, blunt, unapologetic, and hilarious. I just started my sophomore year of college, and found that some of her best moments can accurately describe the start of the school year.

1. When your advisor tells you that you should declare a major soon.

2. Seeing the lost and confused freshmen and remembering that was you a short year ago, and now being grateful you know the ins and outs of the campus.

3. Going to the involvement fair to sign up for more clubs knowing that you are already too involved.

4. When you actually do the reading required for the first class.

5. Seeing your friends for the first time since last semester.

6. When you're already drowning in homework during syllabus week.

7. Realizing you don't have the same excitement for classes as you did as a freshman.

8. Going home and seeing people from high school gets weirder the older you get.

Keep Reading...Show less
graduation

Things you may not realize are different between high school and college:

Keep Reading...Show less
Relationships

20 Things You Forgot To Thank Your Mom For

Moms are super heroes dressed in yesterday's clothing and they deserve an award for that.

1623
family
Facebook

Dear Mom,

You took care of me and my brothers our entire lives and you still continue to! I will not be able to truly grasp all of the hard work that you put into this family until I create my own one day. But, I know that there are plenty of times I forgot to give you a simple thank you or an appreciative smile. I thank you for everything that you have done for me and will continue to do for me. Here are some examples of those times where you had my back and I forgot to pat your back for saving me:

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments