With DC's latest blockbuster, "Suicide Squad," breaking both expectations and the box office with its release last weekend, many people are now updating their statuses on how they want a relationship like the Joker and Harley Quinn. Yet, how many people actually want that? How many of them would still want that if they knew the true nature of the peculiar pair? The truth, ironically, is not that difficult to find either.
With just a simple Google search, one can find a lot of instances of the reality of how the Joker treats Harley. Throughout the entirety of their "relationship", there are numerous times when he neglects her, demeans her and even straight up hits her. Even still, all these negatives are sadly overshadowed by the times the Joker does show affection towards her and that is what eventually takes up the spotlight -- but a few rights do not justify the many wrongs.
From manipulation to physical harm, Harley Quinn is the victim of an abusive relationship; for crying out loud, there is even an instance where he literally throws her off a building to kill her because he simply felt like it - all the while people stand by in awe, wishing their relationship mimicked theirs.
Now, that is not to say that people understand the truth but still want it, but it is not like the truth was hidden from them to begin with. The Joker is a demented, evil man who constantly shows us throughout that he cares for nothing but chaos itself. Not only is it hard to believe that he is capable of feeling any sort of feeling remotely related to love, but it is even harder to believe that so many girls would claim they want a significant other who is like that. Maybe it is because humanity seems to have this desire for things that are not good for them, or maybe it is just plain ignorance, but again, that does not change what the reality is: an abusive significant other.
To an extent, however, I can find the appeal of a relationship like theirs; or at least I can see what people attempt to mean when they say it. There seems to be a lot of excitement in the "love" that the Joker and Harley share. A lot of us want to be "crazy in love" with someone, right? All the passion, the exhilaration, and wildness -- there is nothing wrong with desiring that. What is wrong is when that desire starts to allow abuse. Harley Quinn has gone through so much manipulation that she now sees abusiveness as OK, and sees it as her fault when the Joker hurts her. No matter how poorly he treats her, she has been so warped that it became her new normal.
This is when it becomes a problem. There is nothing romantic about the Joker and Harley and it is time that we stopped trying to romanticize who they are. There is a picture I saw recently of both the Joker and Harley with the caption: "Sometimes it takes two screwed up people to make a normal relationship." Though there is a list of things wrong with the caption in general, the truth is that their relationship is FAR from normal. Abuse is NOT normal, nor is it even remotely OK to have in a relationship. Crazy love and abusive "love" are two vastly different things and it is crucial that we do not confuse the two. Those who have been through or perhaps still in an abusive relationship know the awful reality of it all.
It is not "relationship goals," it is not romantic; I will even go so far to say that it is not even human. Those who choose to manipulate, demean, and even physically hurt are not the kind of people you want to spend your life with.
You are worth a lot, more than you might be able to see for yourself.
You are a queen who deserves a king -- do not settle for merely a Joker.