Why Remembering The Honeymoon Phase Helps You Push Through Adversity

Why Remembering The Honeymoon Phase Helps You Push Through Adversity

Why is the honeymoon phase just a faint memory?
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Lately, the topic of love has been depressing. There are hundreds of articles and personal accounts of how love fails. Unfortunate tales of infidelity and lying saturate writing blogs or news outlets frequently cover tragic stories of domestic violence cases within marriages and families are two prime examples. Scrutiny of the prevalent, yet harmful, hookup culture is found across every writing platform available.

Why is pessimism running through the hearts of Americans? Could it be the uncertainty of our country after it being placed in the grips of an ignorant bigot? Is it the reality that global warming is upon us and that sea levels are on the rise? Or could it be a genuine dissatisfaction with current hookup/dating practices? The divorce rate has never been higher so for the sake of everyone sanity I thought we should remind ourselves of why we are all openly (and secretly) obsessed with love. More specifically let us remember the best part of love: The honeymoon phase.

Ah, the honeymoon phase. (Cue the dainty chirping of birds). The period of time where a couple is immune to all adversity. Almost like a high, each person is on a cloud, floating on pure happiness and satisfaction. First, we can all compare it to the beginnings of a crush. The quickening of the heart when your crush comes to view. The way the hairs on your arms stand just by the mention of your crush’s name. The time consumed day dreaming and fantasizing about your crush is constant. Anytime your mind wanders its occupied with his or her face.

Next is a phase of utter happiness. If anything outside your relationship turns awry, it’s okay. It’s actually less painful because of the immersion of care, lust, and passion given by your partner. The honeymoon phase consumes every emotion in you, giving you a sense of control. The emotional and physical fulfillment can conquer any obstacle of life. When you’re in love, nothing can go wrong, right?

Then comes the deeper level. The emotional connection. The late night talks and the secrets. The bond two people share which characterizes each couple uniquely. Just like snowflakes, no two connections are the same. This period of time is the organic process of humans falling in love. What more can be said?

If all this is true, why do we forget about the honeymoon phase? If it’s so extraordinary then why are people so pessimistic about love?

Maybe it’s because with everything you love is risk and vulnerability. The loss of anything you love takes a piece of you with it. Many people lose love. And if this happens what occupies the mind isn’t the intimate memories. It isn’t the laughs and tears that drew two people to one another. It’s the absence. The pain consumes you and the risk of being hurt isn’t worth it. So we draw back. We hide. We criticize love, we blame it on everything else but what it really is. Fear. Fear that something you once loved could be gone in the blink of an eye.

So how do we fix this? How do we remember the honeymoon phase? Should we jump into the sea to find all those other fish? Or do we give up and hope that one day the numbness will fade. I don’t know the answer to this question. But what I do know is that it’s worth another shot. To be able to feel passion and giddiness again. We can gain strength and remember that if we could feel the power of love once, we can do it again. And we will. We will remember the honeymoon phase.

Cover Image Credit: https://www.healthlibrary.in/secret-reasons-couples-travel-together-healthy-relationship/

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To Everyone Who Hasn't Had Sex Yet, Wait For Marriage, It's The Right Move

If you have not had sex yet, wait.

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Premarital sex is not a new concept, no matter how much people like to pretend it is. You can trace scripture and historical texts back thousands of year to see that lust and fornication have been a problem since… well, since we humans have been problems.

They tell you in sex ed that sex causes you to form a bond with someone. They throw some big chemical names at you that are apparently in your body and cause that emotional attachment to happen, then you move on (or back to) how important condoms are and why STDs are so scary.

As a middle schooler or teenager, you can't understand what it means to become permanently connected to someone as a result of a quick, physical act.

If you haven't even had your first kiss, you really can't imagine what it's like to develop such a complex and intimate connection with someone because you have yet to feel the butterflies in your stomach from a kiss. So you really don't know what it's like to have a whole different type of feeling in your stomach.

You never forget your first love. It's one of the most cliche things you consistently hear, but it's true. Ask anyone. I guarantee your parents can still spurt out their first love's name in a few seconds. And most people never forget their first time. I know all my friends can recount that often awkward and slightly terrifying moment as if it happened an hour ago. When you mix those two, especially if you are in your teens, oh boy.

You never forget that. No matter how hard you try.

Everything you hear about sex is true: it's amazing, fantastic, life-changing, etc. There's a reason people have done it as frequently as they do, for as long as they have. But every time you sleep with someone, you leave a piece of yourself with them. Every time you choose to take that final physical step with someone, you cannot go back and collect that piece of your dignity and soul that you left with someone.

So, imagine what happens when you break up with someone you've slept with. Or that you just hooked up with. You have given someone a little slice of yourself forever. And you can never get it back. And imagine what happens when you do that multiple times. You give a piece of yourself to five, 10, 15, 20 or more people. Then you meet the person that you want to spend forever with. And you no longer have that whole part of you. You've given pieces away, and you can no longer give those to the love of your life.

So, save those pieces for your future spouse.

If you have not had sex yet, wait. If you have, consider not giving more pieces of yourself away to people who are not your spouse. Sex was created to be between two spouses, nobody else. So we need to try to maintain its integrity.

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9 Things You Learn While Traveling With Your Significant Other

It's a blessing and a curse.

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Recently, my boyfriend and I went on a trip together to visit his family in South Carolina. Weeks leading up to the trip, we kept hyping up the fact that we were so blessed to be able to travel together. For both of us, it was our first time ever traveling across the country with a significant other, so you can imagine that we were pretty stoked to be able to experience our "first" together. After a fantastic and fun-filled weekend together, it was also super interesting to see what we learned about each other from the excursion.

1. Patience levels

Between finding rides to the airport, getting to the airport and actually getting seated on the plane, a lot of stress accompanies the thrill of traveling. Since it was my first time on a plane in nearly 11 years, I was experiencing a lot of confusion and stress myself. Surprisingly though, my boyfriend was able to keep calm amongst the chaos while simultaneously calming me down. For that, I am so thankful because I know if I were in his position there would be no way I would have been able to handle the nagging I was giving him. Special shoutout to him for also going along with all the goofiness that I used as a coping tactic for the stress too.

2. The efficiency of your packing skills

Like most teenagers, my boyfriend and I are proficiently skilled at procrastinating. Not an hour before we left for the airport, we were scrambling to pack our bags. As expected, we definitely forgot some things at home. Things like toothbrushes, combs, hair products, and even nice clothing in case we did a spontaneous photoshoot - which we did. Nevertheless, though, his family was awesome enough to provide what we left behind and we made do with what we brought. At least we know for next time.

3. The importance of sticking together

Like my boyfriend, it was my first time ever experiencing the chaos that is ATL airport. Sure we live close enough to Chicago to know what O'Hare is like, but this is a completely different state we're talking about. Sticking together was imperative in the transitioning processes to make sure the other was on board and respectively off board - literally. Between the craziness of TSA checks, getting to our correct gate and finding our seats, everything we did, we did holding hands so to make sure that we were not alone. After all, we either make it to our destination, or we don't make it at all - but at the very least we're together.

4. The *IMPORTANCE* of bringing snacks

Traveling, although you do a lot of sitting, takes a massive toll on your body. And getting "hangry" is a very real thing for the both of us. We made sure to eat on our first flight but forgot to ensure that we ate before our flight back. You can probably imagine that we were both getting a little agitated with the other simply due to the lack of food in our systems to keep us going. Packing lots of food and water for the flights there and back are essential for making sure the other is in a decent mood.

5. How important keeping things fun is

Traveling means a lot of downtime or a lot of rushing around - it seems as if there is no in between. Because of this, it is important to keep the nature of your experiences fun and light. Although our flights were a little under 2 hours (and we didn't have access to wifi) we decided to play games together on our flight. We passed the time by creating stories, playing hangman and even taking goofy pictures and videos. Throughout the entirety of the trip we kept things fun by making jokes, taking pictures, and asking each other bizarre questions to keep our minds stimulated.

6. The value of being able to take a second and ~chill~

Even when we arrived at his family's house in South Carolina, we continued to do many activities throughout the duration of the weekend that required a lot of secondary commuting. On one of our final days visiting, we decided to take a day to relax and spend time with his family which ended up being arguable one of the best days of our visit. We decided to cook dinner, play board games and do a movie marathon which gave our minds and bodies a break before returning to the laborious nature of school that we would soon return too.

7. Never taking advantage of the opportunity to sleep

While we were able to take a day to chill, the other days we restaurants looked forward to sleeping at the end of the night. It gave us a chance to recharge and regenerate our energy for the rest of the activities we had planned for the weekend. Not to mention, we actually got to sleep in real, comfortable beds; a total upgrade from our twin size beds in our dorm I might add. Sleeping gave us a time for ourselves as well which was greatly appreciated at the end of the day when our social batteries had just about died.

8. Appreciating the experiences you have together

During our trip, we got to walk the riverwalk of Downtown Augusta, and walked the streets of Downtown Greenville together. The weather was absolutely refreshing compared to the frozen wasteland of Illinois, and the scenery was beautiful. We saw different kinds of events, restaurants, people, and places together which most kids our age do not get the chance to see. One night, my boyfriend and I even snuck out on the roof to stargaze and listen to music in the South Carolina warmth. That was an experience in and of itself and that my 13-year-old self always dreamed of, and for it to come true was something of a dream by itself.

9. How much closer you become as a result

Experiencing the world with your favorite person on Earth is something everyone should get the chance to do. You grow in knowledge and experience together, which essentially boosts your personal growth as a result. But because we were able to grow individually, we were also able to grow closer as well. Every experience we had during our trip brought us closer in love and friendship with each step because they were all new things for both of us. At the end of the trip, we rejoiced about how lucky we were, and how much closer we felt to one another. To hear something as sentimental as that can make even the strongest person say "awww."

Our trip to South Carolina was something of a dream and made me value my romantic and friendly relationship with my boyfriend that much more. At the same time, I was able to become closer with his family which also granted me a sense of acceptance and importance amongst the people he holds dear. Special shoutout to his mom for buying us the tickets so willingly and allowing me to join as well. Without this experience, our relationship would lack a certain depth of richness and diversity that it did not have before. Traveling with your significant other teaches you a lot, while simultaneously giving you the experience of a lifetime. Love you bunches, Billy.

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