Why Remembering The Honeymoon Phase Helps You Push Through Adversity

Why Remembering The Honeymoon Phase Helps You Push Through Adversity

Why is the honeymoon phase just a faint memory?
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Lately, the topic of love has been depressing. There are hundreds of articles and personal accounts of how love fails. Unfortunate tales of infidelity and lying saturate writing blogs or news outlets frequently cover tragic stories of domestic violence cases within marriages and families are two prime examples. Scrutiny of the prevalent, yet harmful, hookup culture is found across every writing platform available.

Why is pessimism running through the hearts of Americans? Could it be the uncertainty of our country after it being placed in the grips of an ignorant bigot? Is it the reality that global warming is upon us and that sea levels are on the rise? Or could it be a genuine dissatisfaction with current hookup/dating practices? The divorce rate has never been higher so for the sake of everyone sanity I thought we should remind ourselves of why we are all openly (and secretly) obsessed with love. More specifically let us remember the best part of love: The honeymoon phase.

Ah, the honeymoon phase. (Cue the dainty chirping of birds). The period of time where a couple is immune to all adversity. Almost like a high, each person is on a cloud, floating on pure happiness and satisfaction. First, we can all compare it to the beginnings of a crush. The quickening of the heart when your crush comes to view. The way the hairs on your arms stand just by the mention of your crush’s name. The time consumed day dreaming and fantasizing about your crush is constant. Anytime your mind wanders its occupied with his or her face.

Next is a phase of utter happiness. If anything outside your relationship turns awry, it’s okay. It’s actually less painful because of the immersion of care, lust, and passion given by your partner. The honeymoon phase consumes every emotion in you, giving you a sense of control. The emotional and physical fulfillment can conquer any obstacle of life. When you’re in love, nothing can go wrong, right?

Then comes the deeper level. The emotional connection. The late night talks and the secrets. The bond two people share which characterizes each couple uniquely. Just like snowflakes, no two connections are the same. This period of time is the organic process of humans falling in love. What more can be said?

If all this is true, why do we forget about the honeymoon phase? If it’s so extraordinary then why are people so pessimistic about love?

Maybe it’s because with everything you love is risk and vulnerability. The loss of anything you love takes a piece of you with it. Many people lose love. And if this happens what occupies the mind isn’t the intimate memories. It isn’t the laughs and tears that drew two people to one another. It’s the absence. The pain consumes you and the risk of being hurt isn’t worth it. So we draw back. We hide. We criticize love, we blame it on everything else but what it really is. Fear. Fear that something you once loved could be gone in the blink of an eye.

So how do we fix this? How do we remember the honeymoon phase? Should we jump into the sea to find all those other fish? Or do we give up and hope that one day the numbness will fade. I don’t know the answer to this question. But what I do know is that it’s worth another shot. To be able to feel passion and giddiness again. We can gain strength and remember that if we could feel the power of love once, we can do it again. And we will. We will remember the honeymoon phase.

Cover Image Credit: https://www.healthlibrary.in/secret-reasons-couples-travel-together-healthy-relationship/

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Plan These 13 Dates For Your Girlfriend This Fall And Thank Me Later

Listen up, guys.

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If you are a boy and you are reading this, plan one of these dates and you'll make your girlfriend the happiest person alive. Yeah, you can thank me later.

1. Go to a pumpkin patch.

This may be super basic but who doesn't want a cute little pumpkin around Halloween time. Usually, you will take a hayride to the pumpkin patch which is always a nice time to spend together. It will also be really cute seeing how excited she gets over finding the perfect little pumpkin.

2. Go on a hayride.

If you go to a pumpkin patch you may have the opportunity to go on a hayride and you definitely should! You will get to see all around the farm and the scenery is usually beautiful in the fall with the leaves changing colors!

3. Go apple picking.

This date will always allow for a cute photo shoot opportunity and everyone will be able to see your Insta post later captioned "the apple of my eye." Also, if you love apples what better place to get them then a local farm where you pick them yourself! Make sure you check your local farm to see when your favorite apples will be ready for harvest!

4. Bake something together.

There are so many amazing recipes for fall, apple pie being one of them. Which will be the perfect thing to bake with your S.O. after apple picking (two dates in one)!

5. Go to a local festival.

No matter where you are from there are probably a ton of local festivals around you throughout the fall. Whether it is a food festival, fall fest, music festival or even a lantern festival all of them are usually a perfect date. You can experience new things together and enjoy the fall weather.

6. Go to a football game.

Whether it is high school, college, or a professional football game any football is good football in the fall. Between a fun tailgate and an exciting game, if you are into sports football is the way to go.

7. Walk or hike around a state park.

No matter where you are from there are always state parks around you! Fall is the perfect time to go on an outdoor because it's not too hot to too cold. The scenery is always beautiful with all of the leaves changing colors. If there is a lake you could always go kayaking or paddle boating!

8. Visit your local farm.

A lot of local farms have fresh veggies, apples, baked goods and of course pumpkins! Also, check and see if your local farm has any fall family days. On those days they usually have a lot of fun activities, animals, hayrides, corn mazes, pumpkins and if you're lucky they'll have amazing apple cider donuts!

9. Stay in for a cozy movie day.

With Freeform starting their 31 days of Halloween this leads to the perfect excuse for a night on the couch. Pick out your favorite Halloween movie, make some popcorn and have some warm apple cider while cuddling up on the couch.

10. Visit a haunted house.

If you are down for something a little scarier then a Halloween movie, check out a haunted house near yours. It could even be a haunted hayride or haunted corn maze.

11. Take her out to breakfast.

Girls are always down for a cute breakfast date. Especially when you can roll out of beds in your sweats and keep them on in the cozy fall weather.

12. Spend a night carving pumpkins.

Once Halloween rolls around you should grab a cheap carving supplies kit, roll up your sleeves, and carve a cute pumpkin together. Whether you write your initials or create a jack-o-lantern it will probably be full of fun memories of pulling out pumpkin guts.

13. Go to a Halloween party.

Take some time and hit up Pinterest for a super cute couples costume and eat all the candy you possibly can!

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Sure, Condoms Don't Feel As Good As Nothing, But Nothing Feels Better Than Safe Sex

You want to do it, but at least be safe.

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Let's talk about sex.

Condoms are great. I love them. You should too. They reduce the chances of pregnancy and contracting a sexually transmitted infection. When you're doing it with a person you met online or met just recently in person, they're the cheapest form of protection. They're not 100 percent reliable when it comes to minimizing the risk that a sperm fertilizes an egg and that zygote implants itself in your uterus, so I like taking another form of birth control just as a backup. Watch season 1 or 2 of "Weeds" if you want to be spooked a bit.

The academic year has just started, and if you're meeting new people who you want to have sexual relations with, it's important that respect is established. You're letting someone use parts of you for sexual pleasure and vice versa. They're not entitled to those parts, and if someone wants to use a condom, don't argue with them.

It doesn't matter what kind of birth control they have, or how good they are at pulling out. It's scary when accidents happen, and it's scary to see your body changing and not knowing if it's just weight gain or pregnancy, or it it's a heat rash or an infection you may be spreading to others.

I've had potential sexual partners refuse to wear condoms, and I left them because I wasn't going to let them inside of my body because, "the condom was too small." As a woman, I can't leave a pregnancy like guys can, and if given the choice to protect myself from contracting a sexually transmitted infection, I will take it, and I won't let anyone try to make me feel guilty about it.

No one should have to convince someone else for respect, especially when you're participating in an act where so much could happen physically, not to mention emotionally. Most people probably feel the most vulnerable when they're having sex. It might not be the case for all people, but if someone asks to use protection, don't argue with them about it. And if someone refuses to listen to you and respect you, walk away. There are plenty of other people out in the world who will respect you, and you shouldn't have to settle for less when your health can be affected.

When I first started dating an ex and he found out I had an intrauterine device, he immediately started putting together a presentation about why we should stop using condoms. It didn't matter to him when I said I didn't fully trust my IUD or that I was very uncomfortable with not using them. If he decided he didn't want to pull out, and my IUD failed, and I would be the one who got pregnant and had to deal with it, not him. He could choose to be supportive and stay with me through it, or he could block me on all social media platforms and Spotify.

It was a red flag that he didn't respect me, but that made me realize I didn't fully trust him. If he respected me, it wouldn't have been up for debate, and he wouldn't have tried to use my birth control against me to make me think I was being irrational. It's correct that IUD's are effective 99.9 percent of the time, but I didn't want to be the 0.01 percent who experience its failure.

Condoms don't feel the best (yes, girls feel them too), but I prefer using them because I feel safer, especially if I'm engaging in an intimate act with someone whose sexual history I don't know completely.

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