Lately, the topic of love has been depressing. There are hundreds of articles and personal accounts of how love fails. Unfortunate tales of infidelity and lying saturate writing blogs or news outlets frequently cover tragic stories of domestic violence cases within marriages and families are two prime examples. Scrutiny of the prevalent, yet harmful, hookup culture is found across every writing platform available.
Why is pessimism running through the hearts of Americans? Could it be the uncertainty of our country after it being placed in the grips of an ignorant bigot? Is it the reality that global warming is upon us and that sea levels are on the rise? Or could it be a genuine dissatisfaction with current hookup/dating practices? The divorce rate has never been higher so for the sake of everyone sanity I thought we should remind ourselves of why we are all openly (and secretly) obsessed with love. More specifically let us remember the best part of love: The honeymoon phase.
Ah, the honeymoon phase. (Cue the dainty chirping of birds). The period of time where a couple is immune to all adversity. Almost like a high, each person is on a cloud, floating on pure happiness and satisfaction. First, we can all compare it to the beginnings of a crush. The quickening of the heart when your crush comes to view. The way the hairs on your arms stand just by the mention of your crush’s name. The time consumed day dreaming and fantasizing about your crush is constant. Anytime your mind wanders its occupied with his or her face.
Next is a phase of utter happiness. If anything outside your relationship turns awry, it’s okay. It’s actually less painful because of the immersion of care, lust, and passion given by your partner. The honeymoon phase consumes every emotion in you, giving you a sense of control. The emotional and physical fulfillment can conquer any obstacle of life. When you’re in love, nothing can go wrong, right?
Then comes the deeper level. The emotional connection. The late night talks and the secrets. The bond two people share which characterizes each couple uniquely. Just like snowflakes, no two connections are the same. This period of time is the organic process of humans falling in love. What more can be said?
If all this is true, why do we forget about the honeymoon phase? If it’s so extraordinary then why are people so pessimistic about love?
Maybe it’s because with everything you love is risk and vulnerability. The loss of anything you love takes a piece of you with it. Many people lose love. And if this happens what occupies the mind isn’t the intimate memories. It isn’t the laughs and tears that drew two people to one another. It’s the absence. The pain consumes you and the risk of being hurt isn’t worth it. So we draw back. We hide. We criticize love, we blame it on everything else but what it really is. Fear. Fear that something you once loved could be gone in the blink of an eye.
So how do we fix this? How do we remember the honeymoon phase? Should we jump into the sea to find all those other fish? Or do we give up and hope that one day the numbness will fade. I don’t know the answer to this question. But what I do know is that it’s worth another shot. To be able to feel passion and giddiness again. We can gain strength and remember that if we could feel the power of love once, we can do it again. And we will. We will remember the honeymoon phase.