Why Remembering The Honeymoon Phase Helps You Push Through Adversity

Why Remembering The Honeymoon Phase Helps You Push Through Adversity

Why is the honeymoon phase just a faint memory?
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Lately, the topic of love has been depressing. There are hundreds of articles and personal accounts of how love fails. Unfortunate tales of infidelity and lying saturate writing blogs or news outlets frequently cover tragic stories of domestic violence cases within marriages and families are two prime examples. Scrutiny of the prevalent, yet harmful, hookup culture is found across every writing platform available.

Why is pessimism running through the hearts of Americans? Could it be the uncertainty of our country after it being placed in the grips of an ignorant bigot? Is it the reality that global warming is upon us and that sea levels are on the rise? Or could it be a genuine dissatisfaction with current hookup/dating practices? The divorce rate has never been higher so for the sake of everyone sanity I thought we should remind ourselves of why we are all openly (and secretly) obsessed with love. More specifically let us remember the best part of love: The honeymoon phase.

Ah, the honeymoon phase. (Cue the dainty chirping of birds). The period of time where a couple is immune to all adversity. Almost like a high, each person is on a cloud, floating on pure happiness and satisfaction. First, we can all compare it to the beginnings of a crush. The quickening of the heart when your crush comes to view. The way the hairs on your arms stand just by the mention of your crush’s name. The time consumed day dreaming and fantasizing about your crush is constant. Anytime your mind wanders its occupied with his or her face.

Next is a phase of utter happiness. If anything outside your relationship turns awry, it’s okay. It’s actually less painful because of the immersion of care, lust, and passion given by your partner. The honeymoon phase consumes every emotion in you, giving you a sense of control. The emotional and physical fulfillment can conquer any obstacle of life. When you’re in love, nothing can go wrong, right?

Then comes the deeper level. The emotional connection. The late night talks and the secrets. The bond two people share which characterizes each couple uniquely. Just like snowflakes, no two connections are the same. This period of time is the organic process of humans falling in love. What more can be said?

If all this is true, why do we forget about the honeymoon phase? If it’s so extraordinary then why are people so pessimistic about love?

Maybe it’s because with everything you love is risk and vulnerability. The loss of anything you love takes a piece of you with it. Many people lose love. And if this happens what occupies the mind isn’t the intimate memories. It isn’t the laughs and tears that drew two people to one another. It’s the absence. The pain consumes you and the risk of being hurt isn’t worth it. So we draw back. We hide. We criticize love, we blame it on everything else but what it really is. Fear. Fear that something you once loved could be gone in the blink of an eye.

So how do we fix this? How do we remember the honeymoon phase? Should we jump into the sea to find all those other fish? Or do we give up and hope that one day the numbness will fade. I don’t know the answer to this question. But what I do know is that it’s worth another shot. To be able to feel passion and giddiness again. We can gain strength and remember that if we could feel the power of love once, we can do it again. And we will. We will remember the honeymoon phase.

Cover Image Credit: https://www.healthlibrary.in/secret-reasons-couples-travel-together-healthy-relationship/

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An Open Thank You Letter To My Boyfriend

A simple "thank you" will never do it justice.
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Dear Boyfriend,

As soon as I met you, I knew you that were something truly special. You were charming, kind, and charismatic, and I couldn't help but be drawn to you. But, never in a million years would I have guessed that now, after all this time, you would mean so much to me.

The funny thing is, I wasn't looking for you, I just found you. Out of funny circumstance and total coincidence, we became friends, and got to know each other's personalities, fears, hopes, and dreams. Then, we blossomed into something beautiful, something that I never saw coming.

But as blind as I was, I'm extremely glad that you stumbled into my weird little life and that you became such a big part of it. There are so many wonderful things to thank you for that I don't even know where to begin. Words will never do it justice, but a girl can try, right?

1.Thank you for putting me in my place - because sometimes I actually might be acting a little too harsh about that one girl that I don't like, even if I'll never admit it (sorry, not sorry.) I always appreciate your honesty, even when it's something that's hard to hear.

2. Thank you for knowing how to handle me- or at least for pretending like you know how to, and doing an excellent job of it. I know I'm not always the easiest person to deal with, but you settle me down and make me smile in a way that no one else can.

3. Thank you for always holding my hand (literally, and figuratively) - Not only do you keep my fingers warm now that it's cold out (thank God) but you're also not afraid to show me off to friends, family, and even strangers. Plus, being your arm candy is an awesome feeling.

4.Thank you for always supporting me - You're the best cheerleader/number one fan that I could ever ask for, and nothing is more reassuring than knowing that you're right there to root for me in everything that I do.

5.Thank you for not arguing (too much) when I want to pay for things- because sometimes I just want to assert that I'm a ~strong independent woman~ and you totally understand that, even if you don't always like it.

6.Thank you for not complaining when I force you to take seven million pictures - This applies to every single social event ever, or even just lying in bed together taking selfies when I'm bored. You respectfully accept that my hair was "out of place" or that my arm "looked awkward," and that we obviously need to try again 16 times for the perfect shot.

7.Thank you for letting me cuddle you endlessly and steal all of the sheets and pillows- especially after I drool on you (ick.) You actually deserve an award for this one.

8.Thank you for all of the compliments- because some days I feel like a potato, but you always reassure me that I'm beautiful just the way I am (although you may be lying sometimes.) Stealing all of your favorite hoodies and sweatpants might make me look like an Eskimo, but you still make me feel like a million bucks.

9.Thank you for letting me stress cry- and then for reassuring me that my life is actually, in fact, not falling apart. Even if it's over something small, you're always there to help pick up the pieces.

10.Thank you for loving food as much as I do - Some of our best dates have been to cool new restaurants or cooking dinner together, and gosh have they been delicious. Our relationship has pretty much been founded on food and I have zero complaints.

11.Thank you for playing with my hair - and for not complaining when it suffocates you (sorry, big spoon). I can reassure you that it feels like heaven and will put me to sleep within a matter of seconds.

12.Thank you for letting me attack you with hugs and kisses even if I just saw you an hour ago- Yes, I just saw you, but no, that doesn't make me any less eager to smother you with love. You welcome the affection with open arms, and let me be the needy little koala that I am whenever I get the urge.

13.Thank you for letting me have the last bite of everything- It shows how selfless you truly are, and that's an admirable (and adorable) quality. I try to protest, but secretly I love it, and it's the sweetest thing in the world. Plus, who can say no to the last bite of chocolate cake, am I right?

14.Thank you for being silly- Some of my fondest memories with you involve weird faces, strange conversations, and pure craziness. We've even developed our own language of phrases and pet names. Yes, we may be weirdos, but I love that you never take things too seriously and you always know how to make me laugh.

15.Thank you for being serious- Despite our silliness, you know exactly when to put on the serious, caring, boyfriend pants and you have impeccable timing. You've been right by my side through some of the toughest experiences of my life, and you've never once faltered. I am incredibly grateful for your unconditional support and love, even in the face of difficulty.

16.Thank you for making me feel so happy and humbled- There are days that I just sit and look at you and wonder how I got so lucky. Sometimes I feel that I don't deserve someone as wonderful as you, but you always reassure me that you're the "reacher" in our relationship, even though I'll never agree. I prefer to think that we deserve each other pretty equally.

17.Thank you for all of the adventures-At this point, we have made more incredible memories than I can even count. You never fail to be spontaneous, go to new places and try new things, and tag along for all of my ideas as well. Nothing feels better than exploring the world with you by my side.

18. Thank you for opening up to me - It's great to know that you're willing to discuss your life and some of your deepest secrets with me. I'll always do my best to listen, help, and talk you through whatever it is you're thinking about, and I know that you would do the same in return. You have allowed me into your heart and mind, which is a wonderful privilege.

19. Thank you for being exactly who you are- Your passion for helping others, being kind, and making everyone around you smile is something that I will always be amazed by. You inspire me every single day, and I feel absolutely blessed to be a part of your life. You make me want to be a better version of myself, and you always encourage me to strive for the best.

20.Thank you for being my best friend - At the end of the day, "doing life" with someone that you love and trust is a wonderful feeling, and I know that through thick and thin, I can count on you. I can truly say that before anything else, you are my best friend, and I think that our strong foundation is what I cherish the most.

It's easy to call you my boyfriend (at least that's what Facebook says you are). But, above all, I think you're much more than that. You're my partner in crime, my dinner date, my pillow, my cheerleader, my confidant, and most importantly, my best friend. Although I couldn't see you coming, I am eternally grateful that you're in my life today. Wherever the road takes us, I'm glad that I got to walk down that road with you, creating so many beautiful memories along the way.

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Workplace Etiquette: 3 Ways to Improve Your Effect on Coworkers

Reflecting on how you impact the workplace and things you may be overlooking.

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As Americans, we spend 40+ hours a week working, and most of us work in an office or closely with others. We spend more time with our coworkers than we do with friends and family, making it a delicate relationship. Whether we like each other or not, coworkers must uphold a level of respect for one another and the workplace. We naturally get comfortable over time; forgetting that we have a direct affect on who we work with and their comfort. Thanks to being indoctrinated early on with a social contract that tells us to avoid conflict by ignoring issues, trivial things can turn into major issues.

The good news? There's a way to resolve these issues that doesn't involve direct conflict between coworkers – self-analysis. As upstanding citizens, it's our responsibility to measure our effect on those around us. Are we hygienic, respectful, helpful, aware, communicative, etc.? Don't wait for others to get so tired of you that they have to confront you about it. Take time to reflect on yourself and things you may do that have an impact on others.

The following are some common ways in which we negatively affect our coworkers that can be easily rectified:

Bad Breath

Fix bad breath immediately

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Pro-tip: Do NOT wait to be told you have bad breath! Most of us know how to keep our mouths clean: Brush, floss, and mouthwash. Sadly, bad breath is still a major issue within workplaces and can have a tangible affect on relationships. If you eat sugary foods, drink sugary things, don't brush 2-3 times a day, and haven't seen a dentist in the last year, you may be "that person" in the office.
23.5 million Americans live in food deserts – areas lacking in fresh fruit, vegetables, and other healthy whole foods. These beneficial foods are substituted with fast food, processed options, and drinks high in sugars and salt. Consumed frequently, they will cause plaque, gum decay, bacteria growth, and cavities which produce an offensive odor. You may not care, but allowing it to continue can lead to Periodontal disease which will have a direct negative impact on your health.
Jason Watts, DMD of Watts Dental, understands what causes bad breath and recommends a simple solution. Because bacteria on the tongue is a major producer of bad breath, use a tongue scraper during your daily oral hygiene routine. A tongue scraper, unlike a toothbrush, can actually remove the grossness from your tongue providing a clean pallet free of smell.

Yelling in the Workplace

Don't yell in the workplace!

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Nobody likes when someone yells. In today's age of messaging via inter-office communication, there is never a need to yell. Additionally, it can be harmful to whomever you are yelling at/for. It suggests that you think of them as lesser and they need to obey commands. Healthy, successful workplaces don't involve people yelling to one another for duties or information. Along with how it's perceived, it is a disruption to others who are trying to stay focused on their goals.

Communication via yelling is usually something we are brought up with. It's not seen as anything other than a good way to communicate across living rooms to those who do it. But there is a reason we use inside voices. They aren't distracting and convey a more respectful tone. If you yell frequently, take a moment before following through and try a different method of communication. Your office will thank you.

Cultural Sensitivity

People are sensitive

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14% of the US populations was foreign-born. That means most workplaces are comprised of a few people who have different daily practices, food preferences, communication styles, and more. Some may be advantageous and adapted, and others might not mesh as well. Differences can be divisive, and we have recently begun to appreciate the power of sensitivity. "Ribbing" one another is a sign of friendship – coworkers blowing off steam and poking fun at one another is a symptom of comfortability that does enhance workplace happiness. However, some people with different background may not perceive this "fun" as amicable.


With the integration of other cultures, try asking questions and getting to know them on a personal level. Ask:

- Tell me about your traditions and celebrations.
- What are some incorrect assumptions people have about where you're from?
- Do you have any questions for me?

These questions open honest and kind dialogue between you and them, which leads to a better understanding of one another. If not, you may never know who you're offending in the workplace.






While these are 3 things to change and be aware of, self-reflection should include our acknowledgement of positives as well. For every negative point about ourselves we find, identify two positives. We are unique individuals that have something to offer to our coworkers. It's a matter of being self-aware, being a team player, and making changes so that you're a positive force around people you will spend most of your time with.

Cover Image Credit:

http://controlyourbuilding.com/blog/entry/remote-work-arrangements-and-what-this-trend-means-for-facilities-managers

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