The media is always ripping on Millennials, a generation of people born approximately in the year 1994 or after. Millennials are accused of being unfocused, lazy, self-interested, and the most well known, entitled. After being given what they want, it seems Millennials are still not happy. Why is this? Experts say these attitudes are a direct result of parenting and the firm grasp of the digital world.
Too many Millennials have grown up with failed parenting strategies. Millennials have been told that they're special, that they could do and have anything they wanted. Their parents went to bat for them and got them those A's or got them into those Honors classes, even if they didn't deserve to be there. Millennials get participation awards and medals- even for coming in last! However, this concept really serves no real gratification. It not only devalues the medal or award for the person that worked hard and won, it embarrasses the person who comes in last. This last place finisher feels even worse receiving the medal because they know they didn't deserve it. Later in life, these Millennials are thrown into the real world, a world where they're not special, where their parents are not going to be their designated hitter in order to get them a promotion. In the real world, you don't get anything for coming in last. Millennials are faced with the reality that they can't have it just because they want it. In a single occurrence of this reality, their entire self image is shattered. The "everybody gets trophy" philosophy has resulted in a generation with considerably lower self esteem than any previous generation.
Millennials are the first generation to grow up in a social media centered world. We are so #blessed with ability to come up with a witty yet relatable caption in order to get maximum likes. Our filters are on point, they make our lives seem absolutely amazing. However, in reality we're just depressed. Everyone on social media seems like they have everything figured out. I like to call social media our "highlight reel". We get to pick and choose our favorite moments, editing out the bad and only showing the world the good because how dare we be human and show that we might be struggling!
Engagement with social media and our cell phones releases a chemical called dopamine. Dopamine is the same chemical that makes us feel good when we drink, smoke, and gamble, which means it's highly addicting. When you get a text, dopamine is released, it makes you feel good. It's why you check how many likes you've gotten or your follower ratio. We have age restrictions on drinking, smoking, and gambling, but not on social media or cell phones. Millennials have been taught to go straight to social media when times get tough. There's an entire generation that has access to an unlimited amount of dopamine through social media and cell phones as they're going through the crazy ups and downs of adolescence.
Almost every alcoholic discovers alcohol when they're a teenager. This is scary because social media is almost an addictive equivalent to dealing with life when it gets you down. Alcoholics have it hard wired in their brain that alcohol is the way to deal with problems. As they get older, they turn to bottle, not to people. This is the case with Millennials, because they have unlimited access to dopamine, they turn to social media instead of people. Millennials say they have a hard time forming deep, meaningful relationships. This is because they don't rely on their friends, they rely on their posts, their likes, the texts they receive. Millennials have found that they have superficial friendships, they have fun with their friends but they know their friends will cancel if they find something better to do. Meaningful friendships and relationships do not exist because Millennials do not practice social skill sets. Even worse, they don't have the coping mechanisms to deal with stress. When large amounts of it show up they immediately turn to their phone or social media.
It's been proven that people who spend more time on Facebook are more depressed than those who spend less time on facebook. Alcohol isn't bad, too much alcohol is bad. There's nothing wrong with social media, what's dangerous is an imbalance. If you find yourself sitting at dinner with friends and you're texting someone that isn't there, that's a problem. That is an addiction. Having your phone around during an important engagement is basically sending a message to everyone that they aren't your priority.
When you're out with friends, leave your phone at home. Okay make sure one person brings a phone, you never know when you might need an Uber or a pic with a celeb passing by. When you remove the temptation, it makes it a whole lot easier to resist. When you don't have your phone, you're able to really take in and enjoy the world.
This is a world of instant gratification. You don't even have to wait week to week for an episode, just binge watch the whole season in a day. You don't even have to learn how to swoon someone and ask them out, you just simply have to swipe right and boom, you nailed it. You can have everything instantaneously, except job satisfaction and deep relationships. That's where it gets messy and millennials hate messy. We millennials need to learn patience. We need to learn that things that really matter such as joy and fulfillment, take time. The overall journey is long and difficult. Don't try to summit the mountain by yourself. Millennials have to overcome the challenges of the digital world and find a balance. Learn the joys and fulfillment you get from working hard on something for a long time.