If you've read An Open Letter To The "Best Friend" That Dropped Me Like I Was Nothing, you may have noticed millennials have a lot to say about how frail our friendships are. Here's my perspective.
"Friend: noun. A
That's according to www.dictionary.com. But at least for me, I like to think a friend is a lot more than that. A friend should be somebody who looks out for you, stands up for you, puts you in your place, and makes time for you no matter what. Being a good friend doesn't take much. It comes down to simply not being selfish.
Being a good friend doesn't mean you pay for them when you go out, or buy them gifts, or spend every day with them, or even speak every day. For some reason, we think that being a good friend means that when they complain about something on Twitter, we have to show up at their door with whatever they need. While it's a nice gesture, and I've done it myself, it doesn't make you a good friend or a bad friend. You could be the worst friend in the world and do it, and it wouldn't change the fact that you're terrible.
We don't know how to be good friends. Somewhere in between texting constantly and keeping Snap Streaks, we lost actual friendship. The kind that doesn't require you to check your phone every five seconds to see if someone else is trying to talk to you. The kind that is more than willing to save up $5 to go bowling on a Wednesday night, even if you're terrible. The kind that never flakes on you or lets you feel alone. The kind that's actually worth something.
Our friendships (and relationships, if I'm being really honest) have come down to "What am I getting out of this?" And while sometimes that question is necessary, the more important question is "What am I putting into this?" Typically, what you put in is what you get it. However, I've found recently, that no matter how much I put in, I get nothing out. Those friendships are the ones I won't waste my time with.
My close friends from high school were the best of the best. I took care of them and they took care of me. They knew what it meant to be selfless and considerate. If they made plans with me, they were there. If they agreed to do something, they did it. If they said they would keep my secret, I never heard about it again. I trusted them with my life and still do and I appreciate every last thing they've done for me. The sad part is, I'm starting to see how rare that actually is. It's sickening.
I can't give you an exact reason as to why we suck at friendships. All I know is that we do. We're worried about ourselves and what we get out of things and if you ever want to have a true, good friendship... stop doing that. Put others before yourself. You may be going through something but I guarantee your friends are too.
It's time to start treating each other like we matter to one another. We impact one another whether we like it or not. We need to start caring about how our actions make others feel and we need to start caring about other people in general. We aren't the only one with a tough life and it's not a competition to see who has it tougher. It really is just as simple as not being selfish.
Be a good friend. Ask somebody how they're doing today (and ask them 3 more times after that because we all know the whole "I'm good... no yeah, I swear, I'm good!")