As I've mentioned in my writing past, I have a uniquely odd family. The six of us can be the best of friends and the worst of enemies, but we manage to stay together in these crazy times with a combination of sarcastic banter, incredibly subtle acts of love and a whole lot of K-Bars.
Something we like to do together, besides sassing each other, is sit down and watch some of our favorite TV shows. Some examples include "NCIS," "Big Bang Theory," "Psych," "The Office," "Scorpion," "Survivor" and the list goes on.
We watch so much varied television that we think of ourselves as mild television experts. It's this expertise that has us wondering why ABC Family hasn't optioned our family as the new "Cosby Show" (without the external drama, of course). In case network producers have a habit of perusing Odyssey articles, here are some reasons why my family's persistent idea should become reality.
1. We would be a unique cast.
Something that my parents have constantly said is that the six of us are incredibly individualistic. Though we have plenty of similarities that make it obvious we're all related, like the fact we all love a good Disney movie and think Alan Rickman is a wonderful person, we each have our own personalities that would make each episode different and interesting.
2. We provide several natural scene changes.
With my sister and I at KU, my brothers both in high school and my parents at their respective jobs, viewers would never get bored with the sitcom's "set." Also, the KU campus is gorgeous and totally photogenic so any scenes filmed here would be TV gold.
3. We already have our title scene figured out.
No joke, my family figured this out on one particularly long road trip. Picture this; my family is in a car with my dad driving, my mom is in the passenger seat reading, my sister is listening to music and looking out the window, my younger brother is sleeping, my youngest brother is playing on his tablet and I'm reading/knitting. There is no talking but Billy Joel's "My Life" is playing over the radio while the opening credits flash across the unchanging scene. That's it. There are several beautiful aspects to this opening credit scene: it's simple, it's short and it's honest to goodness true. The six of us tend to leave each other alone during car rides while we do our own thing, so it'd be a perfect intro for our show.
4. We're our own comedic relief.
No need for the production team to cast a witty best friend character. We're hilarious, ask any of us. Our home-brewed mix of sarcastic banter, cynical comments and harsh roasting sessions makes a hearty batch of Haselhuhn-cake perfect for any occasion. We're rarely serious, and even if we're trying to be, it's almost guaranteed that one of us will screw it up with a badly-timed fart joke.
Now, I know that Hollywood is super competitive, and families are always trying to say they have what it takes to make an amazing show, but I'm telling you, ABC Family producers, that we're the real deal. All I'm asking for is a pilot episode and help with tuition (hey, I'm still a student). You won't regret it!