A little Throwback Tuesday (yes I am now making Throwback Tuesday a thing so take that Thursday) to when I had to write a 650 words or less paper about why my autistic brother Harry is my biggest influence today. Even though my first draft was at least 2,000 words I somehow managed to slim it down to only 617 words (trust me I wanted my paper to be so much longer because I had so many incredible things to say about Harry). Between his amazing personality and his smile brighter than the sun, I want everyone to know how much I love and care about him. And for me, that is impossible to do in under 1,000 words.

So here is my college essay on why Harry is the main reason for why I am the person I am today:

The Mayor of Warde enters with a huge smile on his face. I never thought I would see the day when my older brother Harry would be known as the “Mayor” of Fairfield Warde High School. He has the ability to naturally brighten everyone’s days as he accepts each person for who he or she is. And, along the way, our high school community has learned to accept Harry for who he is.

From the earliest of ages, I knew something about Harry was different. He never interacted with his peers; he would get upset easily about the littlest things; and he was often throwing temper tantrums. I also noticed that my parents paid more attention to Harry than to me. Finally, when I was around ten, my parents explained that Harry has autism; he especially struggles with mind-blindness, a symptom of autism where he is not aware of others’ mental states. He doesn’t deal well with powerful emotions like anger or love; and he doesn’t understand appropriate social behaviors. Even though I was young, I knew that it was and would always be my moral responsibility to be Harry’s role model, friend, and caretaker.

Our middle school years were a time of growing independence for both of us. My parents expected me to do my homework responsibly, to reach out and make friends, and to know right from wrong. Yet, Harry needed to be taught the most basic of communication skills. And when I wanted to play with my big brother, he was too involved with watching the same Reading Rainbow or Barney tapes repeatedly.

Unfortunately, Harry’s early high school experience had a dark side. Once some students recognized that he was “different,” he became an easy target for bullying. But when I entered high school, everything changed. One important lesson that having a brother like Harry has taught me is never to be a bystander. I’ll admit it, I am usually a quiet and shy person; without Harry, I would be a bystander. Harry is why I have the guts to stand up to the tough guys who push around the kids with special needs.

Later in my freshmen year, my dad and the coach of Harry’s Challenger Little League baseball team asked me to be his Assistant Manager. This team was my introduction to other kids with serious disabilities. They may talk differently, look differently, or act differently, but they all accept each other for who they are. Not only have they made friends who will last a lifetime, so have I.

Just as I share Harry’s love for baseball and cheer for him and his teammates as though they are all my brothers, Harry shares my passion for theatre. He is my most enthusiastic supporter, often to the point of embarrassing me. Today, at seventeen, I’ve learned that Harry is more than my moral responsibility. He is my friend, he is my brother, and he is also my teacher. My life would be completely different without Harry. The most important life lesson that Harry has taught me is acceptance - giving people, no matter how different they are, a chance. Harry’s title of the Mayor of Warde has proven to me that my role modeling of acceptance has had a positive impact. Others accept him because they have had a chance to see him for who he is; and, others have had the opportunity to discover that people with special needs can be funny, friendly, intelligent, kind and even sarcastic.

Harry isn’t all of my identity, having friends that are “different” isn’t all of my identity, and theatre isn’t all of my identity. But each inspires me to be the person I am today.