This year I learned my lesson.
This time of year, like no other brings about a seemingly unmatched busyness to our lives. Although we say things like “peace on Earth” to each other around Christmas, this season often seems anything, but peaceful. The expectations put on us during this time of year can get us shook if we’re not careful. Expectations including, but not limited to: final exams, Christmas parties with people that we both like and people we pretend to like, Christmas shopping, multiple family gatherings, writing multiple Odyssey articles in a week (if you’re me), picking up extra hours at work, driving out to someone’s house at 3 a.m. to fix their heat (if you’re my dad), spending way too much money, drinking way too much eggnog, making some short-lived New Year’s resolutions, spending extra time with family, and the list goes on. Now, none of those things I mentioned are inherently bad and some are not optional. However, in realizing that this time of year has become more associated with stress and anxiety, than joy and peace, I realized that this isn’t necessarily an issue that’s isolated to the Christmas season. It’s an issue that just seems to be magnified during the holidays. For me, it’s a problem of saying “yes” to everything and “no” to nothing.
Yes Man.
I was raised to help people in any way I can as well as going the extra mile to exceed expectations in helping people. My parents have always done that for other people, myself included. However, I’m starting to learn that people-helping and people-pleasing are not the same thing. I have a tendency to say “yes” to people even when I don’t want to or just shouldn’t. I do this for a variety of reasons whether it’s not wanting to hurt feelings, not wanting to miss out, or just wanting to be liked. “Hey, can you cover my shift tonight?” Yes, even though I have a ton of homework and an Odyssey article to write. “Hey, wanna go to Skyline?” It’s 2 a.m., I have class in the morning, and consistently consuming carbs this late at night is giving me big enough boobs to fill out a B-cup, but yeah I’ll go. “Wanna go grab some drinks?” I really can’t afford it and I have work in the morning, but I’ll offer to buy everyone shots anyway and just hope my card goes through because if something exciting happens I want to say I was there. This constant cycle of “yes, yes, yes,” coupled with a lack of self-discipline turns into a toxic struggle for acceptance and approval from all the wrong places. I end up spending too much time and money on things that won’t last.
“In a world full of the word “yes” I’m here to scream…”
If you’re reading this, I’m not going to assume that you have a relationship with Jesus, but I must say He has a way of changing the way I see these kinds of things. Today, as I was feeling overwhelmed for the 10,423,094th time this week, I decided I’d crack open my Bible. (I know, I’m supposed to go the first time I'm feeling overwhelmed.) After reading John 17, one small verse stuck out to me. The chapter is a prayer that Jesus is saying over those who will believe in Him. The 23rd verse reads “I in them and you in me—so that they may be brought to complete unity. Then the world will know that you sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me.” I can’t say that I had some kind of deep theological breakthrough, but instead I was reminded of a very simple truth. God loves me enough to send Jesus to love me. That should be enough to make me okay with disappointing people. God doesn’t just love me, but Jesus says, “you sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me.” He loves us like He loves His son, which is pretty dope. When all is said and done, that's really what Christmas is about. God's love for His kids. That’s really the only acceptance we need which means that the expectations of others don't have to define us. Not saying that this means I should go out of my way to piss people off or refuse to help people because I don’t feel like it. However, if I have any kind of resolution for 2017, it is to be intentional with my “yes” and actually say “no” by remembering who loves me.