I have never been a math or science person. They are my weak spots. They are what make my stomach churn. They are the reasons why I pull out my hair. And they are not compatible with my interests. At all. Yet, obviously, these subjects are implemented throughout our daily lives. For instance, I still pull out the calculator on my phone when figuring out how much I should tip after meals since I cannot calculate percentages and prices in my head on the spot. But who doesn't do that? I highly doubt that I'm the only one. (Someone please agree with me on this so I do not feel alone and inept).

But anyway, pursuing these fields as an undergrad often receives praise from your family, peers, faculty, and/or the general public. It's like as soon as I say I'm a computer science major, people automatically perceive me as if I'm wearing this invisible medal of superior intelligence. And when I say that, I do not mean to come off in a boastful manner, because I am not talented or skilled in my major at all.

I question why I'm pursuing computer science every day since my interests lie in numerous liberal arts subject matters. When I would be asked what my favorite subjects were in high school, I would enthusiastically respond with the same answer: English. And that would still be true if I were taking any English classes at the moment. I don't know about you, but I think that's crazy and depressing at the same time: I just admitted that my favorite subject is a class that I'm not even enrolled in.

I love reading, writing, singing, dancing, and acting. It's all hard work that I actually enjoy. I love spending countless hours in my closet belting Broadway show tunes. And I adore logging my dreams and transforming them into screenplays. I hate how these fields are considered "easy" majors when they really aren't. Do you know how impossible it would be to translate Shakespeare if you didn't have Sparknotes? Let alone internet access? Yeah, that's what I thought.

My mind always lays somewhere else when I'm coding. It tends to drift off into thoughts such as "I wish I could be writing something else", "I don't understand what I'm doing", "I I just thought of a new novel idea", and my most visited thought: "I hate this I hate this I hate this." You may be wondering why am I pursuing something I hold no passion for. Well, I'm Indian. That should answer your question. I'm kidding, but in all seriousness, it does link back to the toxic stigma that lays within Asian American/South Asian American cultural expectations. All Indians are either doctors or engineers and if they pursue any other field, they're subject to being labeled the disappointment of the family, no matter how intelligent or talented they really are.

My sister studied economics and sociology when she attended college. When people ask for her and my major, it's natural to compare the difficulties between the two. I've often been told comments such as "Oh, so you're going to be the one who makes money!"

Excuse you? My sister is very happy with her career and with the way her life is taking her. She's able to travel around the world, dine at overpriced vegan restaurants that serve 0.5 oz of food per entree, and go shopping frequently. I consider her very successful, intelligent, and a positive role model. The fact that she defied the pressure of pursuing medicine or any STEM field to follow her passions amazes me every day and inspires me to do the same. Even though I do not plan on completely giving up on computer science, I do want to at least add a couple English and political science classes to my courseload. It's time to stop dreading going to university and start falling in love with education.