3. And I resolve it by underfeeding them... | The Odyssey Online
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11 Appalling Vindications Behind Why I Am A Mass Fish Killer

Rest in peace, my fellow friends.

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People have the misconception that owning goldfish is easy and fun. I, however, go through them like tissues. Like most other 6-year-olds, I wanted a pet fish. At the age of seven, my mom bought two, one for me and one for my sister. To our dismay, both of them died the very next day. We tried again when I was in seventh grade, and again, and again. Because of all these "batches" of goldfish I go through, I've built a reputation among my friends, and I was soon known as the "fish killer."

Although it was fun to joke about, it was frustrating to see my efforts go down the drain, literally. Though I came to the conclusion that I cannot keep a goldfish to save my life, there is reasoning behind it all.

1. They require an expensive start.

Though goldfish may be cheap at your local pet store, the aquarium itself is quite expensive to set up, with the average starting price of $570. You have to keep up with items such as water conditioner, filters, heaters and so much more. My family didn't take all this into consideration when we starting raising the little fish. Who knew that a cheap goldfish would require this much attention?

2. I overfeed them...

Food!

Margaret Xiao

Fish can get constipated. Did my sister and I know that? No. But did my sister and I care after we realized? Nope, not really. We loved feeding the fish at least three times a day. Too bad it was a common cause of goldfish deaths.

3. And I resolve it by underfeeding them...

Multiple "batches" of goldfish later, our parents told us to stop feeding the fish, and they told us that they were going to take care of the feeding. They were exhausted with buying goldfish on a biweekly basis, and my sister and I would get into trouble if we were caught. So, the reasonable thing was to completely ignore them and forget that they existed. Eventually, the entire family stopped feeding the fish, and they all starved to death.

4. Which may lead to cannibalism...

Since we underfeed the fish, the fish will eventually lack nutrition, become sick and die. But because all of the other fish are hungry, they saw the dead fish as a source of food. One could imagine the horror when I came home after school to be able to see the bones on a floating fish corpse.

5. Tank maintenance is a nightmare.

My friend named this fish Margaret :(

Margaret Xiao

Who knew that cleaning a tank would be so difficult? You have to make sure the water stays at a constant pH level. You have to make sure the water stays at a constant temperature. You have to make sure the filter is actually doing its job. Removing water from a 75 gallon tank and cleaning it is not as easy as it looks.

6. Fish stress me out.

Goldfish are supposed to be low maintenance, but I remember stressing over their health freshman year of high school. I came home and checked up on them every day after school, inspecting each individual fish. According to D. Cracknell, researchers found that watching fish increases health benefits. I testify against that, for the fear of the death of my goldfish had caused me nothing but the feeling of impending doom. It was the calm before the storm.

7. Algae is always a problem.

My goldfish and Kylie the hat

Margaret Xiao

I honestly do not know how they appear, but once they're in the tank, they will never go away. It's insanely hard to remove them when cleaning the tank, and they reproduce so quickly. Algae control does not always work due to natural selection and the survival of the fittest. The algae will eventually evolve to become immune.

8. And I tried to resolve it with bleach.

With that in mind, I came to the perfect solution — bleach. Oh, it worked so beautifully well, as the algae immediately cleared from the sides from the tanks and decor. However, I did not do as well of a job rinsing out the tank as I had thought because the next thing I knew, over 80 percent of my fish died in the next two days. I guess natural selection applies to the fish as well.

9. Parasites kill the fish.

Like the algae, I do not understand how these things get inside the tank. And like the algae, they will never go away as soon as they are in the tank. I saw white spots on a fish once, and I never considered it to be harmful. What I did not notice was that the fish started becoming less active, less responsive and well, less alive. Ich, or white spot parasites, killed countless batches like the black plague.

10. The fish tank is either scalding hot or as cold as Dante’s ninth circle.

Fish die once the temperature is too hot or cold. I guess I should've kept that in mind when we filled up the fish tank with cold, hose water in the middle of winter. Needless to say, most of the fish died, and we invested in a water heater within a couple of days.

11. Most of the time, I’m never aware that they’re dying.

I later learned that this is not what a constipated fish looks like.

Margaret Xiao

As one can clearly tell, I am not a fish expert. I never notice changes in a fish's behavior, and I never bother to search them up when I do. I'm pretty much clueless in terms of fish symptoms and diseases, so I never know when or why they are about to die.

Rest in peace, my fellow friends, thanks for dealing with me. I'm sorry for everything. I'm a terrible person, but hey, at least I tried.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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