"Am I picking you up at your mom's or dad's house?" "Wait, which one is your mom's house?" "Where do you stay more?" "Oh my god, I'm so sorry your parents are divorced." "What is it like having two holidays?" "Do you love having two Christmas's?" "Which parent do you love more?" "Do you like that your parents are divorced?" All of these phrases are fairly familiar to someone that has divorced parents. But contrary to what some think, I'm very happy my parents divorced when they did.

My parents split when I was just 7 years old. The years surrounding this age are crucial for development of all sorts, but don't think I was held back by any means. I don't think that my parents knew the power of their decision to split up. They made life better for my brother and me rather than worse.

They never fought in front of my brother or myself. They knew enough to split up when things got bad. I didn't grow up in a home where I would be worried if I would walk into a screaming match or whether my parents are talking to each other that day. I didn't have to run to a friend's house in the middle of the night to avoid my screaming parents. I learned to work things out, but if it didn't work out to move on. I learned to not focus on the negative in life, to just try to make the best of it.

I didn't grow up thinking that a toxic relationship was healthy. I learned to let things go instead of suffering. I can't tell you how many parents that I know think they are doing their children a favor by staying together rather than splitting up. I know of people that have to leave their house to get away from the tension. If you think it's time to split up and you've tried to fix it, let go. There is absolutely no reason why you should yell and scream and fight day and night. There's no reason why your child should hate going home because the thoughts of your fights haunt them at night. When things get that bad you teach your kids many negative qualities like screaming matches are ok and if something is bad you can always fix it (which is NOT the case). And I know what you're thinking: what does this 19-year-old know about marriage and children? Don't get me wrong, I know I still have a lot to learn about these things. But what I do know is that my childhood was salvaged because I was not surrounded by negativity. Do the right things for yourselves and your kids.