I was once called the “Batman” of feminism.
It took me a good amount of time to figure out exactly what that meant, even though said person meant it as a joke, I think.
I showed up to a pretty big kick-back; wine in hand and planning to have a good night with friends and maybe to meet some new people. For some reason, there was still a good amount of younger people there, “younger” meaning 18 or 19 years of age. I walked in with squinted eyes and skeptical thoughts and just stayed close to the people I came with. On a small back porch, conversations were being held and cigarettes were being smoked, and that’s always where the greatest conversations are held.
After introducing myself to a few new faces, I still only ended up next to my boyfriend for the majority of the night. Suddenly, a good friend of mine came busting into the apartment from the back porch. She yelled at me that I needed to quickly come with her, because “these guys are talking sh*t about that feminism thing and you seriously need to hear this.”
Me being the most nosey and intriguing person I know, I followed her pretty quickly. It also made me cringe that someone is talking about that “feminism thing.”
I was welcomed with, “Oh, you're the huge feminist?” I laughed to myself and tried my hardest to bite my tongue to hear out said person. He continued on and on about how he always meets these “man-hating feminists” who genuinely think all white, cisgendered men are the scum of the earth. He told me that he’s met so many women who don’t think men are suppressed and how some men are still facing the same hardships as women are.
I cocked my head to the side and tried to steady my thoughts.
I steadied my voice and tried not to tremble at the (small amount of) ignorance that was happening here.
[Clears throat.]
First of all, men are not facing the same (not even similar?) hardships women are. I believe wholeheartedly that women are suppressed in so many areas that men don’t seem to understand. One of them being how men are allowed to sleep around, and they’re often praised for it. But God forbid a woman has sex with multiple partners, she’s a “slut” and a “whore.” Trust me ladies and gentlepersons, I could go on for days about my personal views on feminism, but that’s not really what I’m trying to get across here.
The term that stuck out to me the most in this person’s statement was “man-hating.” No. I do not hate men in any way, shape, or form. Men are sexy. Like, have you seen them? I also think wholeheartedly that men go through awful, terrible circumstances in life that are bigoted and sexist. Men have to always “man up” and “stop crying” because “it isn’t manly to cry in public.”
Excuse me? People cry. You cry. I cry. Get over it.
Statistically, 2.78 million victims of rape have been men since 1995, but you don’t hear about those, do you? You don’t hear the man’s side of the story when it comes to nonconsensual sex, because he “probably subconsciously wanted it.”
People think feminism means that I, as a female, need entitlement and supremacy. I don’t think you quite know what feminism is then. It’s the equality of every single person, NOT based on any gender or sexual orientation. I will admit, every single day I am learning more and more about such a new, extremely invigorating topic. It’s a lot to take in day to day, but I’m sure as hell trying my hardest.
After explaining all this to the man who seemed to hate me for being this “all man-hating feminist,” my boyfriend had come to join in this conversation. Every man that had joined me on that balcony had never seemed to meet a feminist that wasn’t angry, yelling, or verbally abusive. It made me sad and confused, thinking to myself, “Who are these women that they’re surrounding themselves with, and why are they so angry?” I looked over to my boyfriend who seemed to be nodding his head in approval.
“It’s like you’re the Batman of feminism or something.”
Not really, I’m just trying to be a decent human being.
