We all have that one person and that one relationship that we thought was going to last forever. It's that boy we ran into randomly and instantly hit it off with, or in my case admired from afar before he took notice of me.
Mark* was my first real boyfriend. I had a few small flings before him, but this was the real deal—or at least I thought it was. For a while, before him, I found myself feeling invisible to most boys in high school. Imagine how I felt when the boy that everyone knew of, liked me and wanted to date me—I thought I had it made.
For the first six months we had our ups and downs, but overall it was wonderful, and I could only think this must be what people say love is. He said he thought I was beautiful, we were always together, and all I wanted was for the feeling to never go away.
Of course, as fate had it, within a few months the carpet was pulled out from under me, and I had my heart ripped out of my chest for the first time in my life. I had been cheated on. I can tell you that the pain was almost equivalent to not only having your heart broken but also being punched in the stomach 1000 times over. But, I was young and "in love." I thought that everyone had issues like this, and he made strides to make it right…so I stuck around (now, I realize what a damn idiot I was).
After we got back together, he treated me better than he ever had for about a month to make up for the past. But then, out of nowhere, he became mean, and I saw a different side to boy that I gave my whole heart to. Everyone makes mistakes, but our entire relationship did a 180, and he broke up with me more times than I can count.
Mark took pride in watching me desperately try to earn his love back when it should have been he who was earning me back. After every time he left me waiting, ignored me, and pointed out all of my insecurities, I always came back thinking it would get better. Let me tell you, people! 99.9 percent of the time, it does not get better.
Now, I know I was naïve, but no girl out there can tell me they wouldn’t have done the same for their first love. So, for that, we owe all of the ex-boyfriends who treated us like crap a thank you. Though we may have wasted weeks, months, and years on them, they have taught us more than we realized at the time.
So, I will start by saying thank you, Mark, for showing me what the worst deceptions in a relationship are. Because of you, I never give anyone the option to take enough of my heart to destroy me from the inside out like you did.
People, life is too short and fragile to live life with someone who doesn’t admire you and make you feel special every day. No one is perfect, but everyone has the decision to be kind and the best partner they can be. Find the person who makes you happy and treats you right, and do the same for them. Eat pizza in bed and talk about the future, go on dates and be happy every moment of your relationship, because you deserve it. Cherish the one you love and always remember your past relationships, because that broken heart has taught you more than you realize.
*Name was changed