I Deleted Tinder After A Dangerous Match, And I'll Never Download It Again
Swoon

I Deleted Tinder After A Dangerous Match, And I'll Never Download It Again

What could be so bad about a little college hookup app?

30

It was the day of the Super Bowl when everything went south. The weekend prior had been anything but smooth sailing, but I had thought all the fighting between my boyfriend and I had ceased for the time being. I was supposed to go to a party his friends were hosting and things seemed to be back to normal.

But when he continued to act ignorant in front of his friends, I went MIA and fled to my friends for consolation. At no point in my life had I ever felt so alone and embarrassed. How had I put up with his insensitive, toxic presence for as long as I had? He always placed the blame on others, saying it wasn't his problem, that his friends made him do this or that. All along, I had known deep down he was responsible for his own actions, no excuses.

How had I held this small-minded person's opinion above all others for so long? I began to realize he didn't give a crap about me. My friends all said he wasn't right for me and I deserved more. And I believed them. But I couldn't accept it yet. There was something I had with this guy that I had never had with anyone before. Deep intimacy.

After breaking up in a succinct text, I chose to deal with the void of emptiness I felt by attempting to "glow up". In the weeks that followed, I went from being depressed to engaging in self-destructive behavior. I would make sure he saw all of the dangerous stuff I was doing so I could ensure he thought I was on the high road to recovery.

I devised a plan to try and find a replacement boyfriend as fast as possible to destroy any remaining feelings I had left for my ex. I had heard of Tinder through many of my girlfriends on campus. Throughout high school, I was restricted from any form of a dating app. My mom was proudly against any sort of relationship that was built on the internet. She thought it not only would not work, but it was also unsafe and misleading. I knew she was right, but I was entranced by the amount of freedom I had gained with my college career.

So, I began my entrance into the dating app world. I was awe-struck with the number of matches I had, the compliments that appeared in my inbox, and the surprising amount of punny requests to take me on a date. It was an immediate ego-booster. I met so many different people.

I am proud to say I made some friendships, mostly with people who had the same classes or majors as me. And a lot of others had similar goals as I did, and I enjoyed discussing campus life with them as well as setting up times when we could get together and get to know one another.

Even when I went home, I managed to connect with people I had never met before. I kept justifying that this was a positive part of being on the app.

But of the substantial amount of matches I had, I never really put a great amount of effort into communicating with these strangers. I was just seeking attention. And besides seeing them in class, I was uncomfortable with the idea of going on a date with someone I had just met online. Not knowing the person first really scared me. And I had heard many horror stories about young women being kidnapped/murdered after meeting strangers through the internet.

It was around this time that I had a horror story of my own. A person I met through the app claimed he had my location and threatened to come find me. I spent the rest of that week paranoid and afraid he would somehow find a way to kidnap me. I questioned why I had decided to participate in this trivial trend when my safety had been at risk the entire time.

All that time I had wasted thinking I would start a relationship with a complete stranger, searching for something that would be sturdy and deep. I had come to the wrong place. And it was a dangerous one.

Don't get me wrong, if you are into random hookups, then this app may be your forte. There is nothing wrong with that. It can be exciting and spontaneous. But it should be noted that there are serious safety issues present when attempting to meet and engage with someone who is distant and not actively present in your real life.

If you are like me and are mourning the loss of a significant other, there are many other ways to try and achieve solace once more. But it should be noted that dating apps tend to be a waste of time if you do not have the same goals of the people you end up meeting on the platform.

Before becoming self-destructive like I was, take time to invest in some serious self-care. Know you are important, loved, and valuable. No one should take your unique presence away from you. Know your worth, and don't let anyone define you but yourself. If someone loves you for you, you will feel it. And it will make you happier than ever.

Search for those who are highly invested in your own life and make an effort to be around you. And more importantly, make sure they invigorate you to become a better version of yourself.

That is the love we should all strive for.

Follow Swoon on Instagram.

Report this Content
Health and Wellness

This Survey Shows How Quarantine And Drinking Relate, And I Can't Say I'm Surprised

"5 o'clock somewhere" is more of a guideline now than ever.

As it stands, and my friends and I are finally 21. We're extremely excited to be able to go out to bars and "get lit" as the kids say, but due to the pandemic, all of our plans have been put on hold. We'd rather wait and go when it's safe than risk spreading the infection and hurting our loved ones. So, we've all been quarantining apart, getting on the occasional wine zoom call. This made me wonder if anyone else our age were doing the same thing.

Then, I discovered this survey: We Surveyed Millennials And Gen Z About Their Quarantine Drinking Habits — Cheers. Here are 3 things that I discovered through the survey results.

Keep Reading... Show less
Lifestyle

5 Easy Summer Mocktail Recipes You Can Make With Items You Probably Already Have On-Hand

Keep these drinks in mind next time you're visiting your local farmer's market — you might want to grab some extra mint and limes.

With Summer 2020 in full swing comes the addition of many fresh fruits and vegetables to brighten up your dinner plate, but also your glass! Farmers markets are my personal favorite place to look for produce that is in season to make fun mocktails with.

Keep Reading... Show less
Lifestyle

5 Ways To Celebrate The 4th of July — Without Fireworks Or Social Gatherings

We created a list of things to do since social distancing may create a dent in our typical, planned traditions.

With the Fourth of July on Saturday, the usual tradition of popping fireworks, grilling out, and being surrounded by family has been modified due to the pandemic. Whether you're a loner or surrounded by family, there will most likely be some changes to your celebrations.

For weeks on social media, people across the country have been complaining that they have been subjected to fireworks going off at all times of the night into the early morning. This has sparked concern and questions about why this is happening and how are people even obtaining the fireworks.

Keep Reading... Show less
Lifestyle

Carb And Cheese Lovers, Unite — These Are The Best Mac And Cheese Recipes On The Internet

Whether you need to get through the current pandemic or want to spice up your Fourth of July celebrations, these mac and cheese recipes will do just that.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BxIKdnMHcGr/

My favorite food is mac and cheese, and it always has been. All it requires is noodles and cheese — it's so simple to make. Although it's my favorite, it can also get kind of mundane because it's such a simple recipe. This, of course, has led to many people all over the world experimenting with the American staple.

With our lives currently being turned upside down due to the pandemic, a lot of people are seeking comfort. These are scary times, and in order to make it day-to-day, we need to have our favorite foods as a standby. These recipes can also be used during your celebration of the Fourth of July.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

17 Things To Make You Feel GOOD This Week

Because some purchases are just necessary.

Y'all, we're struggling. You don't even have to tell me, I know. What a mess we're all in, right? This year is not going how we planned and the world has turned into one giant struggle bus. I guess you could be super philosophical about everything happening for a reason, but sometimes life is just hard.

There are plenty of ways to bring yourself out of whatever rut you're in. You could go for a run, have a snack, or read a book. Or, if you're really looking for an adrenaline rush, go shopping. This is obviously not going to solve the world's problems with one swift click of the "checkout" button, but hey, it may just give you the little boost you need today.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

I Wore A Butt Mask Every Day For A Month, And It's Officially Essential In My Daily Self-Love Routine Now

Thirty days later, my booty's as smooth as a baby's.

- Blissfully unaware that butt-care beyond squats was even something I should be considering in my self-care routine, I tried one of Bawdy Beauty's butt masks for the first time a month ago.

- I've never really given my butt a second though till I took a look at improvements that could be made with the mask — if one of the hydrating, firming, detoxifying, or brightening masks in the kit I received could either smooth out cellulite or tone my skin a bit more, I wasn't going to complain.

- Each Bawdy Beauty sheet mask comes in an individually-packaged sheet, soaked with a serum I massaged into my skin after removing said sheet. The clay butt mask comes in a convenient stick format I simply draw on to my skin and leave to set for about 10 minutes before hopping into the shower.

- I set a goal of committing myself to butt-care every day for one month. Between the regular use of sheet masks, clay masks, and their CBD Butt Balm in between, I didn't have many expectations.

- I thought the whole concept may just be a gimmick, but my butt has never looked so toned in my life, and the cellulite I had is almost completely gone. I wear one every single day when I get the chance.

I'm incredibly skeptical when it comes to marketing ploys and gimmicks in the beauty world. I'll be the first cynic to try out the latest serum on the market every influencer is raving about just to negate every grandiose claim it makes.

Keep Reading... Show less

Friends, you don't have to be quarantined to use a personal massager, you know? Because, sure, quarantine made for a lot of extra quality time with yourself, but no matter what phase of the reopening process you're in, it's normal and actually healthy to take care of your sexual needs on your own.

Keep Reading... Show less
Entertainment

5 Books I Didn't Realize Are About Gay Women

If you read primarily LGBTQ fiction, then this list might help to expand your TBR list.

Photo by Ketut Subiyanto from Pexels

Frequent readers of LGBTQ fiction might feel like they're reading the same book over and over again, with few exceptions.

Most of these books were on my TBR list for months and I didn't realize they were about gay women until I was reading them, hopefully, this list of books can interest you in expanding your reading material and seeking out different stories.

Keep Reading... Show less
Facebook Comments