Heartbreaks: everyone hates them, and I don't blame them because they really do suck. They drain the light out of your face and the happiness out of your heart. Sometimes I wish I could fast forward a little bit so I could see where I end up and who I end up with, but unfortunately, this is impossible. I think the worst part is that I get attached easily, I catch feelings easily, and I open up about the deeper things. I guess now I have learned that I shouldn't do that -- I should keep my walls up until later on, I should proceed with caution. But the thing is you don't know what is going to happen. Whether it was a month or a year, maybe longer it will hurt especially if you wanted it.

Have you ever fell in love with what someone does? Like the way he pulled you closer when you were sleeping, or the way he kissed you, maybe the way he looked at you. But most of all, the way he made you feel. I know I did, and that didn't take me a long time, and now I miss all of that and I miss him. That's the thing about relationships: you get consumed with all he is and all he does and then you don't want those things from other people, you want it from him. And waiting around would be stupid right? If he didn't change his mind before what makes me think he will change his mind later? Honestly, I couldn't answer that, I could say that I am not really waiting around, I am just taking my time right now with life and hoping that he will realize what he is missing. I know that's too much to ask because this is something you can not force, but that's my way of dealing with it.

Sometimes the funny thing is that you simply don't see it coming. To you everything is working out great, you are happy and others can see that too, but out of nowhere that all changes. Something in the other person changes and that is not a bad thing, it's just a thing. But the sad thing is, someone gets hurt or you both get hurt. Other times you just don't know where it changed and why it changed but you just got to accept it, even if you are angry or heartbroken.

Every day I want to talk to you. Every day I want to smile when your name comes on my phone, but every day I don't talk to you, every day I don't see your name on my phone and that is something I need to get used to. Things will not be like they were and they will not be what I want them to be. People make promises but often times they are broken and in this case, they were. Love and relationships will come and go, even if we hate that, but it teaches us our self-worth, it shows us what we want and what we deserve.

We are going to go through heartbreaks that is a given. We all hate them we don't have to lie about it, we don't have to pretend that we are okay when we aren't. One day everything will fall into place, everything will work out the way it is supposed to. To be honest, I wish it was with you. I wish I was doing all the thinsg we talked about with you.

I wish it was you and me.