Why Healthy Relationships Are So Important

Why Healthy Relationships Are So Important

They help you focus on the good things in life.
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Being a part of an organization that raises awareness for domestic violence has helped me reflect on my own relationships. I haven't always had friendships that were making me into a better person. I've had friendships where they would tear me down more than they would build me up. It wasn't until a year into college that I realized this.

College is hard. I'm not going to sugar coat that statement. People always say that it the best four years of your life, but sometimes I have to question this. Although I have made so many good friends, it has been hard to tell what some peoples true intentions are.

Ever since I have surrounded myself with people who share the same values as me, things have gotten so much better. I feel so much more confident in myself and as a result, have been challenging myself. The relationships and friendships that I have built have pushed me to be a better version of myself.

Relationships are supposed to build you up and not tear you down. We have to realize that the other person isn't always going to be able to give 100 percent. Sometimes we have to give more than they do, but that's okay. That's what being a good friend is.

I took me a long time to let go of people who weren't good for me. I try to see the best in everyone, but there comes a point where you have to care about yourself a little more. The friendships that I have right now have taught me that love shouldn't hurt. A healthy relationship is one where you can trust and support one another. I'm so glad that I have found my worth through these friendships.

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Dear Mom, From Your Daughter In College

Here are all the things our phone calls aren't long enough to say.
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Dear Mom,

Do you remember when I was three and we would play together? It was the age of princesses and carpet that was actually lava, and you were the prettiest woman in the whole wide world. Do you remember when I was in high school and the world seemed too big and scary? You would know exactly when to take me on a mother-daughter date and have me laughing about anything and everything, and you were the smartest woman in the whole wide world. Now, I'm buried in homework and deadlines hours away from you and we don't get to talk as much you want, but you're still the prettiest, smartest woman in the whole wide world.

I'm sorry that I don't call you as much as I should, and you know a lot of what goes on in my world via posts and pictures. Our schedules just seem to never line up so we can have the three-hour conversations about everything like I want to. I know we don't agree on absolutely everything, but I cherish every piece of advice you give me, even though it probably seems like I'm hardly listening. I know that sometimes we get on each other's nerves, but thank you for putting up with me for all of these years. Thank you for listening to me cry, complain, question things and go on and on about how everything in college is. I know I don't come home as much as I used to, but I think about you all the time. After all, you're my first friend, and therefore, my best friend.

Thank you for celebrating my successes with me, and not downing me too hard for my failures. Thank you for knowing what mistakes I shouldn't make, but letting me make them anyway because you want me to live my life and be my own person. Thank you for knowing when to ask about the boy I've been talking about, and when to stop without any questions. Thank you for letting me be my crazy, weird, sometimes know-it-all self.

Thank you for sitting back and watching me spread my wings and fly. There is no way I could have known how to grow into the woman I am today if I hadn't watched you while I was growing up so I would know what kind of person I should aspire to be. Thank you for being the first (and the best) role model I ever had. You continue to inspire and amaze me every day with all that you do, and all that you are.

I don't know how I got so lucky to have a person in my life like you, but I thank the Lord every night for blessing me with the smartest, prettiest person to be my best friend, my role model, my confidant, my person and most importantly, my mother.

Love,

Your daughter

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To The Best Friend Who's 2000 Miles Away

A letter to the person now too many miles away.

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When I first confirmed my acceptance to the University of Minnesota, there were a lot of things to consider.

Not only was there the staggering cost of out-of-state tuition and the drastic change in weather from SoCal, but I was also about to be leaving pretty much the only place I'd ever known, and the only people I'd ever loved. Among them was my best friend.

You can know some people all your life, and they will not make a dent in the person you become. Yet, there are some people you can know for only a few years who can change the course of your destiny. That sounds cliché, but it's definitely true. And, now, 2000 miles away from the person who was my closest confidante, I realize how entirely dependent I was on you.

I'm here in a new place, with a new circle of friends that are quickly becoming another family to me. But, every day, there are times when I turn to talk to you, and once again realize that you aren't there. Once again, I realize that even though we always promised we'd never leave each other, I ended up leaving you and moving halfway across a country.

It's been difficult for both of us, I know. You keep reminding me of how much I miss you, and the calls and texts both help and hurt.

But, I want to say thank you.

This is the greatest test of our friendship yet, and, if we can both make it through, I feel as though we'll never grow apart, never fall away from one another. There's a question I ask myself over and over again, every day that I'm apart from you, every day when there's radio silence between the two of us: I keep asking myself how I'm supposed to live without the person I would live for.

I know I've always had to walk the line between living for myself and living for other people, but I'd like to know how I'm supposed to live when separated from someone who was so constant and unyielding in my life.

You were like a heartbeat: I knew you'd always be there, no matter where I was. Now, I turn corners and it's like I'm being followed by a ghost. It's a kind haunting, but a haunting nevertheless. I know we keep discussing options for seeing each other, but we both know I can't afford a plane ticket back just to be home for two days, and you can't afford to fly out here either.

I think in the end, what I'm trying to say, is that this letter is hopefully some kind of closure. Obviously, it can't be closure, since this friendship isn't ending. But, hopefully, it puts some of those ghosts to rest.

It's not that I don't want to see you and be reminded of you, but I just can't keep turning corners waiting for you to appear. Maybe sometime soon, I'll turn a corner and you will appear. And then we can laugh and carry on as though nothing has changed.

Because it hasn't; distance won't matter in the long run. It just matters so incredibly much right now.

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